No. You’re not him. Can’t be. Never will be. Period. He’s dead.
Fake Steve Jobs is dead! He was assassinated by a hit squad from Old Media (probably orchestrated by Rupert Murdoch and secretly bankrolled by Microsoft).
News reports indicate that a Guy in a Suit — who looks like a banker! — is taking credit for having been the Real Fake Steve Jobs and that his blog will now be absorbed into the Vast Suit Empire of Forbes.com. But this can’t be so. It’s a trick!
Reject the New Fake Fake Steve Jobs!
The True Fake Steve Jobs is dead!
Come sit shiva with me. (As this blog operates on Internet Time, the period of bereavement will not be as long as Real Time.)
Light the candles
Rip your shirt
Recite from Torah
Dress in black and be sad
At the end of this period of deep mourning, I will delete the original Secret Diary of Steve Jobs blog from my Blogroll. I will also have more to say about why the Real Fake Steve Jobs is dead.
Oy vey. The Suits always make such tsuris!
Previously in this blog:
Bastard Of The Year
Why Fake Steve Jobs Is The Only Living God On The Internet (Kneel!)
I Am Fake Steve Jobs
Who The Fuck Is This Dickhead?
I Must Start The Day With Thanks
OMG! FSJ Likes Me! He Really Likes Me!
Quote Of The Day: Fake Steve Jobs
Mucho Namaste To FSJ!
FSJ Has Guts Like RSJ
FSJ Gives Today’s Outrageously Funny Bellylaugh!
FSJ Provides Today’s Two Laughs
If FSJ Says It, Then It Is So!
Blogroll Additions: FSJ and Utube Blog
Fake Steve Jobs Does Real Blog