New Category: LifeDrive

January 4, 2007

Because — holy mackeral! — I actually won that ebay auction!

It’s kinda wounded but includes all the original stuff in the box.

I intend to play Doctor Frankenstein and bring it back to life!

Bwahahahahaa and cackle, cackle!!

Nokia 770: Now Twice As Shitty

January 4, 2007

The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man just repeated this morning’s shit. And it happened while trying to post to this blog! Photo proof when I’m back at the PC tomorrow.

Hey Microsoft! “Bribe” ME! Puhleeze!!

January 4, 2007

I really did agonize over taking the free 770. Someone I consulted who had much more experience in this sort of thing came to the same conclusion as this guy. So I took it.

Woe unto Nokia and a National Day of Regret of Finland for that decision! (And while I’m here, let me pour salt in those wounds by retracting my contemporaneous Thank You to Nokia!)

Hey, Gates! Even though I think your company is nothing but a pack of thieving bastards with no taste and no imagination, I’ve already written favorably about aspects of Vista, so it’s not like I’m actually prejudiced against you.

I’ll make it easy for you too! And cheaper!

Just plop Vista onto one of these three choices:

1) VEGA microPC
2) Samsung Q UMPC (I’ll even take the lousy VIA chip one! — but that would probably make Vista a lousy experience so best go for the Pentium M-based one)
3) Fujitsu LifeBook P1610

But be forewarned: I will be thoroughly honest with my experience, as I have been with The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man.

Deal or no deal?


January 4, 2007

Huh. Should have called it Vidmtr to get in the trend…


Link swiped from Warren Ellis, who always has good stuff.

Nokia 770 Plumbs New Depths Of Shit!

January 4, 2007

My God! The river of shit — nay, a flood of shit — continues to issue forth from The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man.

And this time, goddammit, I have photographic proof!

So there I was this AM standing on Stone Street at one of the still-functioning free WiFi hotspots incompetently offered by the NY Downtown Alliance. I pull out The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man for its intended purpose — a mission-critical access-anywhere function: checking the status of one of my bids on ebay (yeah, yeah, don’t squawk to me about my account info being stolen; in NYC people have better things to do at hotspots; besides, I was the only person there).

OK, I hit ebay. I’m still the high bidder (which with thirteen-plus hours to go is really meaningless yet still comforting; ebay auctions are mostly decided in the closing seconds). Then I hit techmeme to see what the popular tech gossip is. Then I go to jkontherun and want to comment on an item.

Exhibit 1: The Invisible QWERTY (click for full size)


Hey Nokia! Where the fuck is the on-screen keyboard?!!?

This isn’t the first time that’s happened, either!

No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get that fucking keyboard to come up properly. Fuck this, I think for about the one-billionth time while trying to use The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man, I’ll reboot. I hold down the Power Button for one second to get the dialog box that offers Switch Off as one of the choices. And what do I get? Something I have never seen before!

Exhibit 2: No Exit (click for full size)


Hey Nokia! What the fuck is this?!!?

I have never seen that before in the year-plus I have been cursed using The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man. What the hell does it mean? Why is it even there? Most importantly: What the fuck would have happened if I tapped on OK?

I tapped Cancel and hit the Power Button again for one second. Same result! Finally, I just held the Power Button down for two seconds — otherwise known as the Die Nokia 770 Die!!! Method of turning off the stinking pile of shit.

Seeing is believing, they say. This should shut the mouths of the Nokia ass-kissers and that larger pack of eejits whose teeny-weeny egos are dependent upon not being made fools of by their purchases (you poor goddammed suckers!).

One final note: In the the time I’ve been bitching about The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man — which I will again repeat I got for free from Nokia — several eejits had the extreme brainlessness to ask, “Do you expect Nokia to give you another one for free?” You morons! Nokia could not pay me enough money to take another device from them for free, ever!

Further: This post had to be completed on a PC to get the screenshots in the post because the vaunted Internet Tablet doesn’t actually work with all of the internet.

Filthy. Nasty. Funny. I Like!

January 4, 2007

Just go read this blog. [blog dead]

NSFW, of course!

Very Very Nice Photo Tip

January 4, 2007

DIY eBay Photo Studio – $0