My God! The river of shit — nay, a flood of shit — continues to issue forth from The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man.
And this time, goddammit, I have photographic proof!
So there I was this AM standing on Stone Street at one of the still-functioning free WiFi hotspots incompetently offered by the NY Downtown Alliance. I pull out The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man for its intended purpose — a mission-critical access-anywhere function: checking the status of one of my bids on ebay (yeah, yeah, don’t squawk to me about my account info being stolen; in NYC people have better things to do at hotspots; besides, I was the only person there).
OK, I hit ebay. I’m still the high bidder (which with thirteen-plus hours to go is really meaningless yet still comforting; ebay auctions are mostly decided in the closing seconds). Then I hit techmeme to see what the popular tech gossip is. Then I go to jkontherun and want to comment on an item.
Exhibit 1: The Invisible QWERTY
(click for full size)
Hey Nokia! Where the fuck is the on-screen keyboard?!!?
This isn’t the first time that’s happened, either!
No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get that fucking keyboard to come up properly. Fuck this, I think for about the one-billionth time while trying to use The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man, I’ll reboot. I hold down the Power Button for one second to get the dialog box that offers Switch Off as one of the choices. And what do I get? Something I have never seen before!
Exhibit 2: No Exit
(click for full size)
Hey Nokia! What the fuck is this?!!?
I have never seen that before in the year-plus I have been cursed using The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man. What the hell does it mean? Why is it even there? Most importantly: What the fuck would have happened if I tapped on OK?
I tapped Cancel and hit the Power Button again for one second. Same result! Finally, I just held the Power Button down for two seconds — otherwise known as the Die Nokia 770 Die!!! Method of turning off the stinking pile of shit.
Seeing is believing, they say. This should shut the mouths of the Nokia ass-kissers and that larger pack of eejits whose teeny-weeny egos are dependent upon not being made fools of by their purchases (you poor goddammed suckers!).
One final note: In the the time I’ve been bitching about The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man — which I will again repeat I got for free from Nokia — several eejits had the extreme brainlessness to ask, “Do you expect Nokia to give you another one for free?” You morons! Nokia could not pay me enough money to take another device from them for free, ever!
Further: This post had to be completed on a PC to get the screenshots in the post because the vaunted Internet Tablet doesn’t actually work with all of the internet.