Hide The Children! Someone Else Is Telling The TRUTH!!

OhMyGod!! We can’t have this!! This is the fucking Internet, for God’s sake!! You can’t tell the truth here of all places!!

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades: Joel Johnson Returns…to Spank Us All for Supporting Crap

And you guys just ate it up. Kept buying shitty phones and broken media devices green and dripping with DRM. You broke the site, clogging up the pipe like retarded salmon, to read the latest announcements of the most trivial jerk-off products, completely ignoring the stories about technology actually making a difference to real human beings, because you wanted a new chromed robot turd to put in your pocket to impress your friends and make you forget for just a few minutes, blood coursing as you tremblingly cut through the blister pack, that your life is utterly void of any lasting purpose.

Then you had the audacity to complain about broken phones, half-assed firmware that bricked your gear, and winner-takes-nothing arms races between the companies whose gear your bought and the hackers who had nothing better to do than try to fix it. Do you realize how ridiculous that is? Programmers with free time did more to help you get quality products than you ever did by buying the broken gear in the first place.

Stop buying this crap. Just stop it. You don’t need it. Wait a year until the reviews come out and the other suckers too addicted to having the very latest and greatest buy it, put up a review, and have moved on to something else. Stop buying broken products and then shrugging your shoulders when it doesn’t do what it is supposed to. Stop buying products that serve any other master than you. Use older stuff that works. Make it yourself. Only buy new stuff from companies that have proven themselves good servants of their customers in the past. Complaining online about this stuff helps, but really, just stop buying it.

— emphasis added by me.

Riiiight, as if those sorry-assed no-life suckers would tell the truth! (Hello, Nokia 770!)

Oh how I love this:

If you write like another stupid fanboy who ricochets a pillar of spunk off the roof of his gaping mouth just because something is glossy and uses electricity, you’re just doing the work of the companies trying to get rich selling us broken promises.

Hey, Joel Johnson! Bill Gates just let me know: NO Microsoft MVP badge for you!

–linkswipe from BoingBoing

One Response to Hide The Children! Someone Else Is Telling The TRUTH!!

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