I’d Join You In The Fight For My Rights, But I Hate Social Situations

An Introvert Stands Up for The Right to Stand Alone

Not until my early 50s did I make a startling discovery: Most of my close friends are introverts. As I brought up the subject with one after another, we spoke in low, confessional voices of feeling numb with fatigue following workdays or social outings we’d otherwise enjoyed, of frequent longings to retreat to a quiet place.

Why was I surprised? Why did it take me decades to figure this out? Because we are introverts, which means we don’t reveal ourselves by working through problems out loud or by talking much about how we think or feel.

Goddam, it seems everybody Out There has to open their yaps. Especially to total strangers. And especially to me me me! I’m sick of it! Shut up already! I have my own fucking problems. I don’t need and don’t want to hear yours, goddammit! Take a pill — take a fucking bottle of pills! — if that’s what’s necessary to get your mouth to stay shut. You fucking pathetic crybabies! Just wait til The Real Shit hits the fan. You’ll all be leaping out of windows. Make sure you don’t land on me me me, you bastards!

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