Heather The Hot: WTF?! Poetry?!!?

March 17, 2007

At the signpost up ahead, you’re entering The Twilight Zone.

Barbie Doll

What am I to you?
A Barbie doll?
Something you can just play with,
And throw on the ground when you’re done?

I am a human being,
I have feelings,
But obviously you don’t know that.
Well I’m sick of it,
Go find yourself another Barbie,
‘Cause this dolls had enough,
Goodbye.

I would never make up something like this. This is from a series of poems from someone named Heather Johnston.

No, I won’t tell you where.

It’s not Heather the Hot. I’ve established that beyond any doubt.

But if she were to read my blog entries here, she might experience those sentiments.

Banish your doubt, Heather! Email me. Preferably while on the lam. While heading to New York City.

Prior coverage of that free-spirited bank-robbing heart-breaking hair-styling stalker-creating transvestite-making book-learning non-poetry-writing she-goddess, Heather The Hot, in this blog:
Heather The Hot: Hot YouTube Vids, A Parasitic Filmmaker, Two MySpace Pages, America’s Most Wanted, And A Muslim Connection!
Heather The Hot: Hot Crime And Cold Punishment
Heather The Hot: See? I’ve Found A Way For Our Love To Grow!
Heather The Hot: The Results Are In!
Heather The Hot: The Early Legal Years
Heather The Hot: Hot Action Photos!
Heather: She Has A Hot Brain Too!
Heather: Hotter Than Ever!
Heather: Unrepetant And Still Hot!
I Should Have Known The Hot One Is Named Heather
Hold Me Up, Then Tie Me Down!

Advertisements

Britney: From Bald To Balled

March 17, 2007

Britney Spears Has a New Boyfriend

I give it a week before he realizes Britney is only good at smoking cigarettes and being retarded.

Prior coverage of Britney Spears in this blog: (goddam, I never thought I’d be typing that sentence when I started this blog!)
As Usual, Bamford Makes Me Look Stoopid
Aieeeeeeeeee!
Jaysus


Scotty, Belay That Order. The Kid’s All Right!

March 17, 2007

Wil Wheaton’s Geek in Review: WILLIAM FUCKING SHATNER, Part II

On my way back to my trailer, the DGA trainee stopped me. “Gene Roddenberry would like you to call his office, Wil.”

“Okay.”

I changed direction, and walked to the stage phone. My heart began to beat hard in my chest. Had Gene heard too? WILLIAM FUCKING SHATNER had known Gene for over 20 years . . . oh my god. Was Gene going to be pissed at me?

Wil Wheaton concludes one of the greatest Trek stories I’ve ever read.

–linkswipe from Pajiba

Prior coverage and mentions of Wil Wheaton in this blog:
This Is For Wil Wheaton
Scotty, I Need More Power! This Kid Won’t Die!


He’s Just SO Rude!

March 17, 2007

Ten Other Things Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Claims Responsibility For

I’d always wondered about #1. Now I can rest easier…


Heather The Hot DEFINES Hot!

March 17, 2007

Plame Testifies to Congress: “I’m a Hottie”

Now if she had testified wearing a Mrs. Peel catsuit…

PellCatsuit

Note to self: Buy one for Heather the Hot.


Heather The Hot: Recommended Reading

March 17, 2007

The47

Just don’t let anyone catch you (again!) while you read it!

Word, babycakes!

(Author’s site: Troy Cook)

Prior coverage of that free-spirited bank-robbing heart-breaking hair-styling stalker-creating transvestite-making book-learning she-goddess, Heather The Hot, in this blog:
Heather The Hot: Hot YouTube Vids, A Parasitic Filmmaker, Two MySpace Pages, America’s Most Wanted, And A Muslim Connection!
Heather The Hot: Hot Crime And Cold Punishment
Heather The Hot: See? I’ve Found A Way For Our Love To Grow!
Heather The Hot: The Results Are In!
Heather The Hot: The Early Legal Years
Heather The Hot: Hot Action Photos!
Heather: She Has A Hot Brain Too!
Heather: Hotter Than Ever!
Heather: Unrepetant And Still Hot!
I Should Have Known The Hot One Is Named Heather
Hold Me Up, Then Tie Me Down!


Will Someone Please Bust A Cap In Old Man Winter’s Head?

March 17, 2007

We’ve had eighteen hours (maybe more!) of rain, snow, ice, sleet.

Due to the weather, I wound up with an injury last night.

This morning, I nearly got killed (again; add it to the list).

Old Man Winter Must Die!