You Poaching Bastard! Go Get Your Own Hot Bank Robber!

March 18, 2007

Sunday, March 11, 2007

To the Atlanta Journal Consitiution Barbie Bandits Harsh Punishment…. I think they should really punished these two girls. Do something harsh. I have the details. Take them and send them to Texas. Send them to live with two older men TWICE THEIR AGE! Make them stay with these older men for atleast 20 years. NO OTHER OPTIONS! These two men being me and my brother. YES THAT’LL DO IT!
PS, anyone disagree?

Sending her to Texas is worse than the fucking death penalty!

I have a suspicion who really wrote that:

Bushwad
“Lookee here, Heather, I have a toy for you!”

Heather the Hot is left with only one choice: Escape to New York!

Prior coverage of that free-spirited bank-robbing heart-breaking hair-styling stalker-creating transvestite-making book-learning non-poetry-writing and totally innocent of the charges though warped by a movie but never going to Texas she-goddess, Heather The Hot, in this blog:
Heather The Hot: Did This Movie Warp Her?
Heather The Hot: The Defense Rests!
Barbie Bandits! Heather Johnston! Hot Sex! Free Movies! FREE!!
Heather The Hot: WTF?! Poetry?!!?
Heather The Hot DEFINES Hot!
Heather The Hot: Hot YouTube Vids, A Parasitic Filmmaker, Two MySpace Pages, America’s Most Wanted, And A Muslim Connection!
Heather The Hot: Hot Crime And Cold Punishment
Heather The Hot: See? I’ve Found A Way For Our Love To Grow!
Heather The Hot: The Results Are In!
Heather The Hot: The Early Legal Years
Heather The Hot: Hot Action Photos!
Heather: She Has A Hot Brain Too!
Heather: Hotter Than Ever!
Heather: Unrepetant And Still Hot!
I Should Have Known The Hot One Is Named Heather
Hold Me Up, Then Tie Me Down!

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Heather The Hot: Everyone Mark March 29th!!

March 18, 2007

New information just in that’s five days old (I fall upon the NBC Defense: It’s new to me!):

HEATHER JOHNSTON: Bond $25,000. Court date March 29th.

Bond is somewhat like Canadian Money once it crosses the border south to America. Hence, $25,000 = $2,500 cash.

Probably what Meth Bitch Ashley spent in a day.

Prior coverage of that free-spirited bank-robbing heart-breaking hair-styling stalker-creating transvestite-making book-learning non-poetry-writing and totally innocent of the charges though warped by a movie she-goddess, Heather The Hot, in this blog:
Heather The Hot: Did This Movie Warp Her?
Heather The Hot: The Defense Rests!
Barbie Bandits! Heather Johnston! Hot Sex! Free Movies! FREE!!
Heather The Hot: WTF?! Poetry?!!?
Heather The Hot DEFINES Hot!
Heather The Hot: Hot YouTube Vids, A Parasitic Filmmaker, Two MySpace Pages, America’s Most Wanted, And A Muslim Connection!
Heather The Hot: Hot Crime And Cold Punishment
Heather The Hot: See? I’ve Found A Way For Our Love To Grow!
Heather The Hot: The Results Are In!
Heather The Hot: The Early Legal Years
Heather The Hot: Hot Action Photos!
Heather: She Has A Hot Brain Too!
Heather: Hotter Than Ever!
Heather: Unrepetant And Still Hot!
I Should Have Known The Hot One Is Named Heather
Hold Me Up, Then Tie Me Down!


Heather The Hot: Did This Movie Warp Her?

March 18, 2007

It had some marvelous dialog:

“Your turn Heather.”
“No, Heather, it’s Heather’s turn.”
“Heather.”
“Sorry Heather.”

And:

Heather told me she teaches people real life. She said, “Real life sucks losers dry. If you wanna fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly.” I said, “So, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly?” She said, “Yes.” I said, “You’re beautiful.”

HeathersVid

And here are two key lines for her defense attorney to cite:

The extreme always seems to make an impression.

And:

I’m gonna have to send my S.A.T. scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford.

You Hollywood bastards will pay for this!

Prior coverage of that free-spirited bank-robbing heart-breaking hair-styling stalker-creating transvestite-making book-learning non-poetry-writing and totally innocent of the charges though warped by a movie she-goddess, Heather The Hot, in this blog:
Heather The Hot: The Defense Rests!
Barbie Bandits! Heather Johnston! Hot Sex! Free Movies! FREE!!
Heather The Hot: WTF?! Poetry?!!?
Heather The Hot DEFINES Hot!
Heather The Hot: Hot YouTube Vids, A Parasitic Filmmaker, Two MySpace Pages, America’s Most Wanted, And A Muslim Connection!
Heather The Hot: Hot Crime And Cold Punishment
Heather The Hot: See? I’ve Found A Way For Our Love To Grow!
Heather The Hot: The Results Are In!
Heather The Hot: The Early Legal Years
Heather The Hot: Hot Action Photos!
Heather: She Has A Hot Brain Too!
Heather: Hotter Than Ever!
Heather: Unrepetant And Still Hot!
I Should Have Known The Hot One Is Named Heather
Hold Me Up, Then Tie Me Down!


OQO Model 02: tnkgrl’s Got The Photos!

March 18, 2007

tnkgrl, techiee (like Wookiee) extraordinaire, got some hot photos of the OQO Model 01 and 02 Reunion Tour.

Look at how happy they are together!

Previously in ths blog:

OQO Model 02: Someone Else’s Fondle Report
OQO: Tough Shit
OQO Model 02 Fondle
Tech Lust Pains


New Blog Categories

March 18, 2007

Yes, she’s earned it!

Heather the Hot is now a Category.

And for those eejits who are so literal-minded, I’m even adding Barbie Bandits.

I will not, however, add Hot Sex!!! as a Category.

I have my dignity.

Well, a wee shred of it.


Heather The Hot: The Defense Rests!

March 18, 2007

Here at the Mike Cane Worldwide Espionage And Global Miscellany Headquarters (LLC), we’ve engaged the employment of someone who is skilled in retro-remote viewing. We’ve put his talents to work on behalf of Heather the Hot’s defense and he’s come through with the goods! I am pleased to present this official retrochronological transcript of the alleged crime as it actually happened!

Meth Bitch Ashley: Oh, wait, Heather. I need to stop in a bank and make a withdrawal so I can continue to buy meth and fuck up my life.

Heather the Innocent: I didn’t know you had a bank account, Ash!

Meth Bitch Ashley: Oh, yeah! I’ve been saving the change I get back from all my meth buys!

Heather the Innocent: Wow. I didn’t know you get change. Is that like that cash-back thing they have for cars and some credit cards?

Meth Bitch Ashley: Oh, it’s even better! Look, here’s the bank. Let’s go in. Here, you better put on these sunglasses. There are very bright lights in there! I know you have sensitive eyes.

Heather the Innocent: (giggles) Well, OK, if you say so, Ash.

HeatherC

Meth Bitch Ashley: (hands over slip of paper to her accomplice)

Heather the Innocent: Ashley, you didn’t even use a withdrawal slip!

Meth Bitch Ashley: Oh, that’s OK. I’m good friends with this teller. He knows me real well. Besides, this bank is kinda cool about paperwork.

Heather the Innocent: Really? Wow. Maybe I should deposit all my earnings from stripping that I’ve been saving for college!

Teller accomplice: How you bitches — uh, how you ladies doin’ t’day?

Meth Bitch Ashley: We’re fine.

Teller accomplice: Yeah. I can see that!

Heather the Innocent: Sorry I have these sunglasses on. Ashley says the bright lights will hurt my eyes.

Teller accomplice: You listen to Ashley. My girl knows what’s she’s doin’.

Meth Bitch Ashley: Uh, I’m kinda in a hurry.

Teller accomplice: (hands over fat pile of cash that he had all ready!) Here ya go, Ashley. Y’all have a good day now. I’ll see y’all at the Meth Mansion later.

Meth Bitch Ashley: (puts fat wad of money in her bag — see photo! see photo!)

AshleyHeather

Heather the Innocent: Wow, Ashley! That was a big pile of money!

Teller accomplice: She’s a big girl too. I’m big in my own way too!

Heather the Innocent: (giggles at teller’s joke — see photo! see photo!)

Meth Bitch Ashley: Let’s get the fuck out of here, Heather. I gotta get some meth. Then I’ll treat you to a hairdo later. I’ll even give you fifty dollars to tip the stylist!

Heather the Innocent: You’re a good friend, Ashley. I just wish you’d stop taking meth and go to college like I’m going to do.

Meth Bitch Ashley: Goddammit, Heather, get off my tits about that! You can be such a bitch sometimes!

Heather the Innocent: (meekly) I’m sorry!

The evidence is clear! Heather the Hot is INNOCENT!

Chant after me:

Free Heather!

Free Heather!

Free Heather now!

Free Heather into the custody of Mike Cane NOW!

Thank you.

Prior coverage of that free-spirited bank-robbing heart-breaking hair-styling stalker-creating transvestite-making book-learning non-poetry-writing and totally innocent of the charges she-goddess, Heather The Hot, in this blog:
Barbie Bandits! Heather Johnston! Hot Sex! Free Movies! FREE!!
Heather The Hot: WTF?! Poetry?!!?
Heather The Hot DEFINES Hot!
Heather The Hot: Hot YouTube Vids, A Parasitic Filmmaker, Two MySpace Pages, America’s Most Wanted, And A Muslim Connection!
Heather The Hot: Hot Crime And Cold Punishment
Heather The Hot: See? I’ve Found A Way For Our Love To Grow!
Heather The Hot: The Results Are In!
Heather The Hot: The Early Legal Years
Heather The Hot: Hot Action Photos!
Heather: She Has A Hot Brain Too!
Heather: Hotter Than Ever!
Heather: Unrepetant And Still Hot!
I Should Have Known The Hot One Is Named Heather
Hold Me Up, Then Tie Me Down!


Barbie Bandits! Heather Johnston! Hot Sex! Free Movies! FREE!!

March 18, 2007

Barbie Bandits exclusive photos!

Heather Johnston poetry!

Heather Johnston Barbie Bandits hot action video!

Exclusive Barbie Bandits info not posted elsewhere!

Exclusive Heather Johnston hot action pictures not posted elsewhere!

Get complete FREE info on Barbie Bandits here!

Get complete FREE info on Heather Johnston here!

Barbie Bandits gone wild!

Heather Johnston gone wild!

Exclusive Barbie Bandits Heather Johnston FREE!! Hot action!! Free videos!! Download FREE!!

Heather, forgive me!

I noticed yesterday in the WordPress Dashboard search query list that people are searching for “Barbie Bandits” instead of “Heather Johnston.”

So, I’ve done this filthy, nasty, tawdry post to goose Google so people will find their way here.

At least I didn’t sink to using the phrase “Hot Sex!!!”

Oops.

This is the Index of Heather the Hot posts in this blog:
Heather The Hot: WTF?! Poetry?!!?
Heather The Hot DEFINES Hot!
Heather The Hot: Hot YouTube Vids, A Parasitic Filmmaker, Two MySpace Pages, America’s Most Wanted, And A Muslim Connection!
Heather The Hot: Hot Crime And Cold Punishment
Heather The Hot: See? I’ve Found A Way For Our Love To Grow!
Heather The Hot: The Results Are In!
Heather The Hot: The Early Legal Years
Heather The Hot: Hot Action Photos!
Heather: She Has A Hot Brain Too!
Heather: Hotter Than Ever!
Heather: Unrepetant And Still Hot!
I Should Have Known The Hot One Is Named Heather
Hold Me Up, Then Tie Me Down!

UPDATE: Click on the Barbie Bandits category or the Heather category to see all the posts, which include the latest ones.