April 3, 2007

Hey, I didn’t write this.

Questions From Your Girlfriend That Aren’t Really Questions

But along with every other man reading it, I had flashbacks!

I see it’ll be me and Hershey for a while…

Brooke Shields, Don’t Give Tom Cruise His Apology Back

April 3, 2007

Criteria for Depression Are Too Broad, Researchers Say
Guidelines May Encompass Many Who Are Just Sad

Up to 25 percent of people in whom psychiatrists would currently diagnose depression may only be reacting normally to stressful events such as a divorce or losing a job, according to a new analysis that reexamined how the standard diagnostic criteria are used.

The finding could have far-reaching consequences for the diagnosis of depression, the growing use of symptom checklists to identify those who may be depressed, and the $12 billion-a-year U.S. market for antidepressant drugs.

Today’s Bellylaugh

April 3, 2007

Hillary Clinton: America’s Body Snatcher-Sweetheart

My Heart Bleedeth Not

April 3, 2007

Man With Drug-Resistant TB Locked Up

PHOENIX (AP) – Behind the county hospital’s tall cinderblock walls, a 27-year-old tuberculosis patient sits in a jail cell equipped with a ventilation system that keeps germs from escaping. Robert Daniels has been locked up indefinitely, perhaps for the rest of his life, since last July. But he has not been charged with a crime. Instead, he suffers from an extensively drug-resistant strain of tuberculosis, or XDR-TB. It is considered virtually untreatable.

County health authorities obtained a court order to lock him up as a danger to the public because he failed to take precautions to avoid infecting others. Specifically, he said he did not heed doctors’ instructions to wear a mask in public.

“I’m being treated worse than an inmate,” Daniels said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press last month. “I’m all alone. Four walls. Even the door to my room has been locked. I haven’t seen my reflection in months.”

Oh, you poor vectoring bastard. Are you allowed to shave? Please slit your throat.

Today’s Quote

April 3, 2007

“Sex happens. I find this neither disturbing nor surprising.”

Ancient human unearthed in China

Is It Happening In America?

April 3, 2007

Let’s see:

Mexico City to be one, giant Wi-Fi hotspot by 2008: mayor — Nope.

French Train Sets Rail Record 357.2 Mph — Nope.

Engineers unveil China moon rover — Nope.

Bush says he takes climate change “very seriously” — Dope.

Judie Does It With Feeling — On Paper

April 3, 2007

Knock Knock: Having Trouble Expressing How You Feel?

Feh! It’s for people who live in Genteel Lands.

Where I am, I need:

Why I Would Like To Kill You. Right Now!!

But do they offer something like that? Nooooo. Idealistic bastards.

Update: Judie informs me this item was written by Kerry Woo. I didn’t realize Gear Diary had multiple authors. Yeesh.

Scalzi, Scalzi, Scalzi. That Rat!

April 3, 2007

Ooooh, Scalzi. You sicken me. It’s just not fair that someone can be as successful as you and be happy too! It should be One Or The Other, dammit.

This guy has such an easy, breezy style on his blog, it makes my hair fall out from their roots as I enviously, jealously, spitefully marvel over it as I boil away in my own sour, fetid juices.

One day a loooong time ago, I thought I would have such a welcoming style.

Ha! Double Ha! And a big Feh! too!

And if all that — and bacon on a cat too! — wasn’t enough, he’s also done one of the Greatest Threads On The Entire Internet: Being Poor. Take off the evening. Shut off the HDTV, unplug that iPod. Read the thread and get an education you will not — can not — get anywhere else.

He’s just got a second post and thread on the subject too. It’s probably just as memorable and enlightening. I just don’t have the time yet to lose myself in it. But you do. So go read.

Dammit, Scalzi. At least announce one day you have an ingrown nail or something. Make me smile!

Ah, I Used To Like Shellfish…

April 3, 2007

Lobster Liberation Front? Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you listening you sniveling nincompoops? Do you realize that the only reason you’re able to even give a shit about goddamn lobsters is because you’re 1000% more priveliged than most of the people on this planet? You don’t have to worry about where your next organic vegan meal is coming from. You don’t have to wonder if the purified, distilled, sparkling water you drink is going to hydrate you or make you even sicker. You have it easy, yet you choose to make it hard for other people trying to make an honest living.

David Bamford Tried To Kill Me. Or Was It Turn Me Into A Newt?

April 3, 2007

That Scot wanker, David Bamford, announced on 4/1 that he was ending his blog. [blog dead]

Of course I fell for it.

So did everyone else. (Well, those as dim as me!)

Pop over to his site. Go see what a bus crash in Glasgow looks like. [blog dead]

Hell, they even do better bus crashes!

Remember, Bamford: I don’t put just anybody in my esteemed Blogroll. Even if you get knocked on the head by some football hooligan or London plonker, you must continue to blog from Hell!