OMG!!! 1,000th Post!

April 5, 2007


Just looked at Blog Stats and this — yes this! — is the one-thousandth post here.

Somehow I thought it’d be something, uh, you know, like, special.


All That Free Money And I Never Knew The Party Was Going Down Or Even Got An Invite. As Usual!

April 5, 2007

Attack of the Mortgage Vultures

George Bush likes to boast about the high rates of homeownership. But today in America, millions of homeowners are at risk of seeing their prized possession taken right out from under them.

Over the last decade, we have been witnessing some of the most brazen acts of mortgage entrapment ever to hit the American housing market.

Subprime lenders have coaxed eager consumers to buy or refinance their homes so often with no money down, and at seemingly low interest rates. But now millions of homeowners are paying way more than they can afford.

Previously in this blog:
First Cracks, Then Crumble, Then Crash
The Answer Is Yes
When An Economy Crashes, Baby, There Are No Airbags!
And Then Google’s Stock Finally Thank You Jesus Crashes And Takes The Entire Global Economy Down The Toilet, Thank You Science!
The Road to Great Depression 2.0

I Call This Bullshit

April 5, 2007

Dvorak: iPhone battery dead after 40 minutes


First of all, Jobs himself was seen in public using it.

The witness didn’t report Jobs having any problems with it.

Second, I’m sure the software isn’t yet final.

Third, Dvorak? Dvorak? Dvorak?

What Is Wrong With You People?!!?

April 5, 2007

Horror fan slashed sleeping pal’s face with Freddy Krueger-style glove

A horror movie fanatic who repeatedly slashed his terrified friend with a home-made Freddy Krueger glove was jailed for life yesterday.

Jason Moore was obsessed with the Nightmare on Elm Street killer and spent hours crafting various recreations of his ‘horrific’ weapon.

With our damage in your head.

–linkswipe via Drudge

Today’s WTF?

April 5, 2007

Blog Stats show someone winding up here using this search term:

free images of muslim hot girls

Fine, you eejit. Here ya go:

Jihad Bride

And You Think I’m Mean?!!?

April 5, 2007

Pictures That Make the Rude Pundit Want To Down Three Klonopin With a Fifth of Tequila, Part 2

The most my caption would have said was, “Ewwwww!”

Oh Wow. She’s Gives A New Meaning To Meltdown.

April 5, 2007

Queen of Nice? Try Nuts.

Renowned metallurgist Rosie O’Donnell proclaimed on TV last Thursday that Sept. 11, 2001, was a more significant date than most of us realized. It was, in her words, “the first time in history that fire has ever melted steel.”

This, of course, came as news to steelworkers, blacksmiths, firefighters, manufacturers of samurai swords, and other fools who hadn’t realized that steel is forged in magic furnaces using dragon breath and pixie dust.

–linkswipe from Junkiness

My Response To “10 Things Your Blogger Won’t Tell You”

April 5, 2007

10 Things Your Blogger Won’t Tell You

1. “Hardly anybody reads me.”
That’s not true here, and frankly it shocks the shit out of me. This blog has developed a core audience, and only God Almighty Himself understands why. I see the Blog Stats on my Dashboard here. One-time visitors from search engines and external links are just a small fraction of the daily readership. This blog does not fall below a certain number of readers each day — a number that is actually growing, too. The only dip comes on weekends, which is when I am unlikely to blog anyway. Even more shocking to me is that I happened to look at the RSS feed stats and had to inhale smelling salts when I saw it went from being zero for the longest time to having a large number too.

2. “The more companies pay me, the more I like their stuff.”
Ha ha ha! No company can pay me enough to shill their shit or to shut my mouth when they produce something that intersects with my presence. Really, what did Nokia get for their freebie to me? The fucking truth! I’ve lambasted the toadies of Microsoft who suck up for their shitty MVP stickers. I won’t kiss any company’s ass. I won’t kiss any company’s ass. I won’t kiss any company’s ass. (For journalists and the similarly dim, those are three distinct links; I wasn’t stuttering.) The one time I actually invited a vendor to let me kiss their ass, they turned pussy and never replied. That last post I just did about Gerry Anderson’s Terrahawks? It was love.

3. “Did I mention I’m not a real reporter?”
Do I have to mention I have had four books published by a major publisher? I have, but I won’t link to them. So fuck you. Where are your real books?

4. “I might infect your computer with a virus.”
If that happens here, it’s something that’s infected WordPress itself and is not coming from me. Homey don’t play that.

Homey Don’t Play Dat

5. “I’m revealing company secrets.”
No. I’ve been under NDAs. I abide by them. On the other hand, if an employee of mine was blogging behind-the-scenes stuff about my operation, I’d fire his ass. Then the big-mouthed immature untrustworthy asshole could blog all he wants while he drowns in the juices of his public humiliation and failure.

6. “Just because my name’s on it doesn’t mean I wrote it.”
Unless it’s in blockquotes or I explicitly state otherwise, all these words are mine. Aim those rocks at me me me!

7. “My blog is just a stepping stone to bigger and better things.”
Maybe, maybe not. I didn’t start out with that goal. But everyone likes money and a posse of willing, adoring, loose women. Especially me.

8. “I can control what you see on the Internet.”
Uh, no. I have better things to do with my time. The sole instance of my minor goosing of Google was one I very explicitly stated.

9. “Blogging just about ruined my life.”
This has yet to be determined. Anyway, define “life” first.

10. “I’m already obsolete.”
Some people have voices for radio. Some people have faces for video. My voice and face are best masked by print. As Balzac famously observed, “Genius often wears a mask of stupidity.” I like walking around without anyone knowing it’s me. Christ, you people open your mouths so freely, revealing your true vomitous selves, and it feeds my contempt! Keep it up, baby.

Gerry Anderson’s Terrahawks

April 5, 2007

Terrahawks DVD

Gerry Anderson is the first TV producer’s name I ever learned. I think this holds true for millions of kids of my era. A pioneer in A+-quality children’s/general-audience TV entertainment, he’s always been given the shaft by The Powers That Be in his homeland. And like many creators of his era, he did not forsee his creations living beyond their initial airing and perhaps a few reruns. Hence, like too many other creators, he sold out his rights and has since missed out on untold millions of dollars in royalties.

His last big-budget production while under contract to ITC was Space:1999, a series I have very mixed feelings about and which is generally scorned by most SF TV afficionados. After Lew Grade cut him loose from his production contract, Anderson found it very difficult to get funding for future projects. At one point he teamed up with entrepreneur Christopher Burr and together they were able to produce a series of 39 episodes of Terrahawks, which marked Anderson’s return to puppet productions.

Terrahawks was primarily written by genius prolific writer Tony Barwick, who served as script editor on Captain Scarlet (a series that was remarkable for its intelligent scripts) and also contributed to Gerry’s first live-action TV series, UFO. Barwick, to cover his near-sole authorship, used a variety of punnish pseudonyms (see answer to the question “Those writers’ names in the TERRAHAWKS credits look made up. Are they?” here). Barwick also camped it up, which — depending on one’s mood — could be enjoyable or excruciating. In my opinion, the sole redeeming feature of the series are the Zeroids, spherical autonomous artificially-intelligent robots that have personalities richer than their human “masters.”

Zeroids: Sergeant Major Zero and Dix Huit (yes, he has a moustache!)

If you’ve never seen an episode of this series, now is your chance — for free! Someone (not me!) has gone and uploaded one of the series most bizarre episodes, A Christmas Miracle, to the dailymotion site.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

If you like what you see, consider buying the DVD set, which includes some nice extras. The box set (legal, non-pirated) can be had for less than $20 on ebay.

Following Terrahawks, Anderson again teamed with Burr to produce Dick Spanner, P.I., a stop-motion series about a robot detective. He then went on, solo again, to produce Lavender Castle. In this century, he pioneered Hypermarionation — CGI — for Gerry Anderson’s New Captain Scarlet, a re-envisioning of the original series.

Phill’s Terrahawks Cyber Pages

Prior related coverage in this blog:
Reference: Star Fleet (aka X-Bomber)
Calling Out To The World Wide Web: Send Me Interster!
Act Fast! RARE Gerry Anderson On YouTube!
New Gerry Anderson On YouTube
Brats Of The Lost Nebula Clips On YouTube!
Reference: Space:1999 Concordance
Space:1999 The Hatred For Year Two
Space:1999 The Music
Gerry Anderson’s Dick Spanner, P.I.
Thunderbirds: The First Abomination
Space:1999 Still Wants To Live
Gerry Anderson’s Joe 90
More Gerry Anderson Inspiration
Better Than Super Adventure Team!
Gerry Anderson on YouTube
YouTube is for nuts like me