Nokia 770: Now 99.9% Shit!

Yesterday I must have suffered some transient brain damage because I got it into my head to “update” the OS on that goddammed Nokia 770 Internet Tablet.

It’s been running slower than an impacted bowel movement, so I wanted to see what a virgin update to it would do. And by virgin, I mean I didn’t do a backup to restore anything. Lost all my bookmarks doing that.

The sacrifices I make for you people!

First step was to update the desktop wizard. That went smoothly.

Next step was to download the blah-blah-blah.49-2 OS update. That went less than smoothly. After five attempts that ended in download timeouts, corrupted files, and other techno-eejitcy, I gave up for a few hours. Hours later, a download that had been earlier timed to take twenty minutes completed in a breathtaking five.

Then it updated the 770 itself. That went fine.

I then wiped out the swap file on the RS-MMC and built a new one. The card had about 2MB of files on it that I didn’t wipe out. I allotted half of the card to a swap file: 32 of its 64MB!

So, last night I go to the Winter Garden to try it out and it was the worst goddammed disaster yet for that abominable piece of shit!

Within the half hour I tried to use it, the browser crashed and repeatedly froze on sites I’d been able to view with the prior version!

I opened my blog and tried to put back bookmarks from the sites listed on my Blogroll. Forget that! David Bamford’s site repeatedly froze. I’d never had that problem ever before. The same thing happened with Scribez and Scalzi’s blog. Again, those sites could be accessed just fine before!


Nokia just stopped me from accessing three sites!

But it wasn’t through yet!

Calling up Junkiness gave me a goddammed undismissable dialog box that Flash 7 was required! With the prior software, I could dismiss that box by tapping Cancel. No longer!

A fourth critical site denied me!

I had to pull the battery out three times due to freezes. I had to hard reset it five times!

Congratulations again, Nokia, on a job very well fucked-up! You’ve made tech history by giving us repeated “updates” that are actually repeated downgrades of functionality.

I hope Palm comes out with a competing product and kills your fucking piece of shit!

I hope Apple’s iPhone wipes your goddammed company off the face of the earth!

Good fucking riddance to the whole fucking lot of you!

Prior relevant coverage in ths blog of the worst goddammed tech product ever produced:
It’s Time To Stop Looking At Cheap Devices!
OQO: Tough Shit
Oh Look! Just Like My Nokia 770 Nightmare!
Why Does The Truth Always Come Out Too Damned Late?!!?
Don’t Beg Those Bastards! Boycott Their Shit!
A Horror Of Lovecraftian Proportions
Hey, Nokia! This Is How Quality Works!
Welcome, Apple. Seriously. (Not!)
WTF?!!? Will The Nokia N800 Be Worth Buying After All? (Updated: No.)
Like This Shit Is News?
770 Shitcanned By Nokia
Nokia 770: The Endgame
Coming Real Soon Now: My FINAL Nokia Post
Nokia N800: Still Shit!
CrunchGear Has Balls!
Blame the Nokia 770, Dammit!
Nokia 770: Now Twice As Shitty
Nokia 770 Plumbs New Depths Of Shit!
Nokia 770 Gets Shittier
Is Nokia Delusional?
Nokia 770 Regains Shit Title
There Is A Right Way, And There Is The Nokia Way
Is Nokia Totally Incompetent?
Are You Nokia 770 Owners Nuts?!!?
Nokia: Please Unshackle Me!
(Anti-) Progress Report

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