Yeah, Baby! Time For Cane To Get His Passport!

We only date ugly men
MEET the women who find rippling muscles and chiselled good looks a complete turn-off.

Slicking on another layer of lipgloss, Selena Maria slings her bag over her shoulder and struts into the bar.

A sea of dark, handsome heads turn to ogle her. Jaws drop and good-looking men raise their eyebrows or move in to offer her a drink.

But Selena walks on by. She only has eyes for one man. He’s waiting for her in a dark corner. He’s not one of the handsome guys in sharp suits. He’s not even ‘average’.

He’s bald and podgy, with a pock-marked face, and is easily the ugliest man in the room. She sidles into the chair next to him.

‘Hi, gorgeous,’ she purrs. The man’s gargoyle face breaks into a toothless smile.

The good-looking men know they don’t stand a chance.

Selena has dated her fair share of hunks, but has given up on gorgeous guys because they’re dull – both in and out of bed.

That’s right, American Women! Those hunks are stupid, stupid, stupid! And all they think about are themselves.

I’ll think of you. Only you.

Because I’m an obsessive bastard!

But you’ll love it!

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