Offline Now

I’ve done enough damage for one day.

I didn’t plan on being here today. I might not be back until Tuesday(!).

To paraphrase the wonderful Tito Perdue, “I see. Blogging when you could have been reading!”

Damn the Net!

Previously in this blog:
This Month’s Subhead

YouTube: Diver Dan

There are 11 episodes of this very early kids’ show on YouTube. I haven’t seen these since they first aired. I’ve put them in order:

DIVER DAN TV SHOW ” HARD WATER ” FREE LIMITED TIME 1962
DIVER DAN TV SHOW 1960 “GOLDIE THE GOLD FISH”
DIVER DAN TV SHOW 1960 ” TALKING FISH”
DIVER DAN TV SHOW 1960 “SKIPPERS GOLD”
DIVER DAN TV SHOW 1963 TREASURE SHIP FREE LIMITED TIME
DIVER DAN TV SHOW 1963 SAW FISH RESCUE FREE LIMITED TIME…
DIVER DAN TV SHOW 1963 SHELL-O-PHONE FREE LIMITED TIME…
DIVER DAN TV SHOW ” THE OCTOPUS” 1963
DIVER DAN TV SHOW “MURDER INK”
DIVER DAN TV SHOW 1963 “BOTTOMLESS PIT”
DIVER DAN FEARSOM FRED

Man, Baron Barracuda was cruel and absolutely evil waaaay before it was fashionable to go watch someone like Hannibal Lecter on the big screen. Watch him cut off Diver Dan’s air supply! Outright attempted murder! And this was a show for kids! TV was so damned great back then!!

Additional:
Diver Dan wikipedia entry
Diver Dan tribute page
Planet X Diver Dan article (available as PDFs)
Diver Dan at Kennedy’s SF TV Guide
Diver Dan at TV Party

YouTube: Strike Force

Yes! Now this is something to see! Actors doing ridiculous stunts that no real cop could ever pull off. Combine it with a militaristic up-tempo theme (unfortunately marred by some sicko disco tweets; the last gasp of the it-don’t-wanna-die-1970s) and it all leads into a series that provoked universal howls of protest, garnering the series this accolade: “…the most violent in American TV history.”

Oh of course it was shit. But it was bad fun shit.

Strike Force (1981) – OPENING

Strike Force (1981) opening. Police detectives are part of an elite “Strike Force” which solves crimes that no one else can. Starring; Robert Stack as Capt. Frank Murphy, Richard Romanus as Lt. Charlie Gunzer, Herb Edelman as Commissioner Herb Klein, Michael Goodwin as Sgt. Mark Osborne, Dorian Harewood as Sgt. Paul Strobber, Trisha Noble as Sgt. Rosie Johnson.

YouTube: Fantastic Voyage

Die Filmation Die!

Fantastic Voyage (1968) – OPENING

“Fantastic Voyage” (1968) was an animated cartoon.

Narrator: [opening narration] “Headquarters: CMDF, Combined Miniature Defense Force. Project: Fantastic Voyage. Process: Miniaturization. Authority: Top Secret, highest clearance. Team: Jonathan Kidd, Commander. Guru, master of mysterious powers. Erica Lane, doctor/biologist. Busby Birdwell, scientist/inventor, builder of the Voyager. Mission: In their miniaturized form, combat the unseen, unsuspected enemies of freedom. Time Limit: 12 hours.”

Starring (the voices of): Marvin Miller as Busby Birdwell/Guru/The Chief, Jane Webb as Erica Lane, Ted Knight as Commander Jonathan Kidd/Professor Carter/Narrator.

Christ Almighty. Grown men did this shit. They should have been selling fabric — why not? They probably sold their fucking non-animation by the yard!

At least this series didn’t have a dumb fucking monkey or some other smartass puke-inducing animal in it. Oh wait … maybe that was Hanna-Barbera‘s bullshit trademark…

Previously in this blog:
The Only Thing Those Hacks At Filmation Did Right
YouTube: GI Joe 100-Episode Epic!
The Absolute Nadir Of 1970s TV
Japan: Cool Triumphs

YouTube: Project U.F.O.

More hours of my early life wasted watching shit… now I want to waste your time too!

Project U.F.O. (1978) – Season 1 OPENING

Project U.F.O. (1979) – Season 2 OPENING

In the style of Jack Webb (Executive Producer), stories were taken from the USAF’s “Project Bluebook” files and dramatized. The producer of the program, Col. William T. Coleman, USAF (Ret.) was the former head of “Project Bluebook”.

Starring: William Jordan as Major Jake Gatlin, Aldine King as Libby Virdon, Caskey Swaim as Staff Sergeant Harry Fitz, Edward Winter as Captain Ben Ryan.

Dig that freaky sicko disco theme music in the second one. It’s even worse than I remember it!

The Only Thing Those Hacks At Filmation Did Right

The Ghost Busters (1975) – OPENING — YouTube video

The Ghost Busters (1975) opening. A live-action children’s show, the Ghost Busters travel around the globe looking for ghosts. Spenser and Kong are a pair of bumbling spook chasers who use their “ghost dematerializer” ray in an attempt to battle the spirits of notorious villains. Assisting Spenser and Kong in their mission is Tracy, an intelligent gorilla. Every episode opens with a parody of “Mission: Impossible” in which Spenser, Tracy & Kong are blown up by an exploding tape recorder. Stars; Forrest Tucker as Jake Kong, Larry Storch as Eddie Spenser, Bob Burns as Tracy the Gorilla.

Previously in this blog:
YouTube: GI Joe 100-Episode Epic!
The Absolute Nadir Of 1970s TV
Japan: Cool Triumphs

Hitler Also Gives Me A Reason Not To Want To Play Videogames

Hitler’s Ultimate Downfall

–linkswipe via The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs

Previously in this blog:
Scalzi Gives Me Another Reason Never To Want To Play Videogames

Now I Know Why Warren Ellis Is Mesmerized By Twittervision

On my LifeDrive yesterday I watched (for maybe the fifth time in all) the very very very possibly-illegal P2Ped several years ago copy of the unaired Global Frequency TV pilot.

The penultimate shot — just before Aleph spins in her chair to face the camera and announce, “You’re on the Global Frequency!” — is of a world map with all these pop-ups showing the Global Frequency members.

Twittervision is just like that map.

Ellis must be proud.

Hey, Suits! I’m still waiting to give you my money for Global Frequency on a real DVD!

Previously in this blog:
Damn You, Warren Ellis!!!
Congratulations to Warren Ellis

Scalzi Gives Me Another Reason Never To Want To Play Videogames

That is, aside from the fact I’m a total spazz at all games.

Look at the Time

I put in my Call of Duty 2 video game at about 3pm. I look up, and it’s midnight.

Time flies when you’re killing dirty Nazis.

Christ, that happens just when I get on the Net! And now I’ve been requesting writer Adds in MySpace — and discovered this entire sub-subculture of people whose MySpace personae are based on TV characters (Captain Scarlet better Add me!).

I need to read. Books!

Who Do I Have To Beg To Get A Ticket?!!?

Morrissey
Jun 30 2007 8:00P
Madison Square Garden New York, New York

Previously in this blog:
Morrissey (That’s All You Need As A Title!)
Life After Death Death Death Death Death Death Death Death Death Death Death Death Death Death Death
Morrissey