OK. Oh my God. I have never, ever read anything like this before. Never. Not. E.v.e.r.
The following excerpt I will quote here is Not Safe for Work, Christians or Other Children. As Ellis himself says of some links on his own blog, Don’t Look if you’re in one of those categories or just generally squeamish.
All warned? OK…
I found that I had to kind of limbo into my car, leaning back and almost heaving my hideous genital weight in ahead of me.
With the car door shut and my scrotum on my lap, I sighed, switched the car radio on, and settled down to wait for Trix. Looking at my watch. Looking out the window. Wondering exactly how long it took to inflate a woman’s labia until they passed as gonads. Minutes crawled.
Read the rest of it at his LiveJournal site.
[Excerpt © Copyright Warren Ellis 2007 All Rights Reserved. This is a chapter from CROOKED LITTLE VEIN, published in hardback by William Morrow in the United States July 24 2007.]