Girls Don’t Cry: Unravelling The Knitting Factory

June 24, 2007

Note: This will be a pictureless report. I’ve yet to order additional WordPress image storage space.

It had been several dreary and uninspiring months since I was last able to experience the grandeur of Girls Don’t Cry live on stage. I had to miss their recent Bitter End date, so I was craving their Knitting Factory appearance. They were due to begin at 7PM. But I didn’t want to miss the rare opportunity to take pictures of their descent from the heavens. So I got there at 4:30!

5PM came. No Girls. 5:30PM. Still no Girls. 6PM. Where are the Girls? 6:15PM. Oh my God, did they change their start time? Maybe they’ll play at 11PM! I’ll be dead by then!

Five minutes later, the Girls pulled up. They were cutting it close! Heaven apparently doesn’t want to let go of its goddesses too easily!

Downstairs, on stage, they began with a thorough sound check. I was glad to see that. The sound board has sometimes worked against them (I’m looking at you, Pianos!), narrowing the range of their audio splendor. They could be doing their best playing, but if the sound board hasn’t been set correctly, their talent is sabotaged, trapped somewhere between their instruments and their amps, depriving us of the full measure of their exciting electrons!

That wasn’t the case at The Knitting Factory. The board was set properly and aside from a few live adjustments by Sora (who is finicky about her sound — and she should be!), everything went damned well. The music flowed smoothly and freely from their fingers directly into our ears. It was hot and sizzling Direct Current!

It was Liz Kelly‘s birthday (Happy Birthday, Liz!) — but instead of us plying her with gifts, she gave all of us a gift: her most inspired drumming ever! She beat the hell out of those drums! By the time the Girls were done, those drums were smoking and asking everyone what convoy of trucks had hit them! If those drums had been a cow, the audience would have been eating cooked hamburger after that set!

Rachael did her delightful keyboard magic — and then the cowbell for Cobain. Hannah did her energizing foot-stomping and guitar work. Caitlin couldn’t resist breaking into a little bit of bass guitar jazz during a quick break, luring Liz into doing the same on drums (I think they are plotting an overthrow of the group into Girls Do Jazz!). Sora did her trademark hair camouflage routine because she just has to look so exceedingly cool on stage.

The Girls debuted a new song! (At least it was a debut for New York City; they’d actually premiered it the previous night for those undeserving Long Islanders.) Called American Boy, Rachael did the lead vocal, shaking the room with the power of her voice. This put — oh my God! — Hannah on keyboards!

Their final song was Sora’s: their cover of the Violent Femmes’ Add It Up. Sora always drives the audience wild with her routine during that, and it was even moreso at The Knitting Factory.

And then it was all over! What?!!? It seemed as if I had just gotten there, sat down, and now it was finished?

As it turned out, the Girls — and the audience (but most importantly me me me!!!) — were cheated by The Knitting Factory. Their bartender was late, so we weren’t let in until about 7:15. The Girls started playing within five minutes after that. But instead of being allotted their full hour, The Knitting Factory deducted their bartender’s lateness from the Girls’ time on stage! The next band was to start promptly at their assigned 8PM time. Bastards! I would have asked for a refund of half my money, but I was too glad to hear the Girls at all.

It was an incredible performance. The Girls were hot. They rocked. They were vibrant and alive and sent tremors throughout the city that made earthquake sensors send out false alerts! The audience loved it, I loved it. All of us who witnessed their greatness came away with an energy, a glow, and a painful hunger for more more more!

Their incredible Bitter End set now has a companion: this appearance at The Knitting Factory! The Girls again showed everyone that they are destined not just for mere stardom, but mega-super-stardom!

All of you who weren’t there, you have my abject pity. Your ordinary lives could have experienced their magic, but you missed it. But they’ll be doing more. So don’t miss their next time on stage! If you continue to do so, there will come a time when you’ll have to pay a seedy, unwashed scalper several month’s worth of rent for a ticket to see them. And you’ll be glad to do so!

In the meantime, check out their new redesigned website!

Previously in this blog:
Girls Don’t Cry category


LifeDrive Notes: Final WiFi Unfun

June 24, 2007

Right. It’s time for me to give up thinking I can get any WiFi use out of the LifeDrive at all.

I finally got Opera to minimally come alive. Here is the torment I had to go through to accomplish that:

1) Launch Blazer

2) Get to the Bryant Park free WiFi TOS screen

3) Click I Accept

4) Quit Blazer

5) Launch Opera (the version for LifeDrive, not the new Beta)

6) Let it discover the method to go online (a stupid bloody process, if you ask me — and you should!)

7) It finds it!

8) Then, just before doing what it should — like, display a damned web page! — it pops up its EULA.

9) And then crashes the LifeDrive!

I went through these contortions twice. Twice is once too many! Opera on the LifeDrive is worse than on the Nokia 770!

Speaking of which…

…after going through all of the above, I wound up pulling out the 770 (god knows why I am still lugging it around) and getting online at Bryant Park with it.

Holy mackeral!

There was my blog — looking like my blog should look!

And… and… and… I wound up using the F word. No, you dope, not that F word. This one: Fast.

Yep: as apoplectically slow as I found the 770 to be in the past, when it’s compared to the LifeDrive it’s a speedy bugger.

But within five minutes of being online with the 770, I again managed to get it twisted into a self-referential RAM-clogged knot.

So it’s still The Biggest Piece Of Shit Known To Man. No change there.

Sure, I can’t get any WiFi use out of the LifeDrive, but I can still use it for PIMs, for video, and — most importantly — for writing with a keyboard.

This entire blog entry was done on the LifeDrive. I wouldn’t have been able to do that on the 770.

So suck it, Nokia.


LifeDrive Notes: Palm Keyboard Vs. Human Brain

June 24, 2007

So there I am this morning away from home, wanting to do a bit of writing on the LifeDrive with the Palm Wireless (IR) Keyboard.

I open the keyboard. Plop in the LifeDrive.

Start typing. But no letters appear on the screen.

WTF?

I fold the keyboard, open it again, try it again.

No go.

I open the battery compartment and switch the position of the batteries.

Still nothing.

I take out the damned batteries and put in a new pair (yes, I carry extras with me!).

Still nothing!

I reset the LifeDrive.

Nothing still!!

What is going on here?!!?

Veteran Palm users will already be laughing at my eejitcy. It was all so obvious.

I hadn’t turned on the keyboard driver!!!

Argh!!!

So now I’m going to tape a little sign into the keyboard: Turn On The Driver, You Eejit!

A stupid machine will always humble even the smartest human being…