What am I bid for me to stand in line for your rich ass?
If I’m not going to buy one myself (and it looks like I won’t, at least not on iDay!), I wouldn’t mind touching the freaking box it’s in — especially if you’re willing to pay.
I guarantee that once you have your iPhone in hand, no motherfucker is gonna take it from you (as long as, like, you know, you aren’t a total fucking dick and stand there waving it over your moussed head to taunt the hungry crowd!) — total safety from store exit to whatever car you have already arranged to peal your ass outta there to home and safety.
If you’ve read this blog, you know I’m a vicious bastard sometimes. And if someone messes with me especially on that day, they will permit me to vent some frustration that’s been lying around in psychic storage! I call that win-win for us both!
Cash only, and half the cash upfront once I start the wait. You pay the rest when you take the spot in line (or I’ll kick your ass outta the line to the highest bidder and you forfeit all monies already tendered!). I’m not gonna split on you, for Christ’s sake. I have a blog!
Plus, it’ll make a hell of a blog entry the next day (no, I won’t mention your damn name!).
Manhattan location only. You choose the location (but for fuck’s sake, don’t be a jerk: I won’t do the two Apple Stores!; pick an AT&T site).