Really. You’ll laugh your guts out!
iPhoneSize.com — The Definitive Guide to Determining the Approximate Size of the iPhone
My New Novel is almost there …. Almost…
She’s a big girl at 133,734 words.
I’ve been re-writing incessantly, usually during the nighttime hours. At this point, certain parts are more polished than others. I was smart in using the Bukowski technique of short, short chapters, which makes rewriting much easier.
How many drafts at this point? Hard to say. ‘Cause I started writing on index cards (’cause index cards are less daunting to fill than long sheets of actual paper, right?).
At first, I just meant to write an outline, but suddenly the voice of the main character (female, Latina: her name “Dolores”) just started talking, and I began to take dictation. The “confessional” took all sorts of wild twists and turns (some wrong turns too, which I’ve had to toss out, and roll back on, ’cause I wasn’t really “listening”) — 759 index cards later (front and back), I reached the conclusion.
This is definitely the best, boldest thing I’ve ever done (thank you, Dolores). For those who might be curious, it’s kind of a Thelma and Louise story set in the East Village, a story of two down-and-out “artist” gals who set out to make a “dirty movie” with disastrous results.
It’s absolutely filthy! Dolores talks like a female Charles Bukowski. And she tells the story straight up.
But it’s also about friendship, in a way. Female friendship, which has long fascinated me. For that, a reference point was “Heavenly Creatures,” the Peter Jackson film. I love the claustrophobic world that these two girls create; in fact, it’s so claustrophobic and unique, it’s psychotic (removed from “reality”). They literally create a tiny universe for themselves, an amoral universe, where even murder is fine if that means protecting the “real world” of their friendship. Add to that the fact that both girls are so young and inexperienced…. I love it.
Another influence on my novel is my newfound love of Trash Americana (tabloid culture) and exploitation cinema. I wanted wildness this time. Lunacy and a certain level of PC incorrectness. Those anti-hero ’70s flicks and movies like Faster Pussycat! Kill!… Kill!… and Coffy are certainly an inspiration. Women are allowed to do wild-ass things in exploitation movies, just check out “Big Bad Mama” and “I Spit On Your Corpse” and “Coffy” and “Faster Pussycat!”
Anyway, back to work now, back to my dungeon; I’m still not “done” …. I’d say I’m about 2 months away from polishing the book to completion. It seemed like the impossible project, in the beginning, and the whole time I was doing it, I was anxious and afraid. But I fought all through that (blocked out the negative voices), and it’s here now. I have it.
That’s the good news.
I am rubbing my hands in glee at the prospect of this book!! It sounds like another great novel! That will be two in a row for him!
Tech central have reviewed the Fujitsu UMPC and seem to be impressed with the little whipersnapper. There’s the usual shock at how tiny the device is and a genuine belief that the Fujitsu UMPC is a workable design. Apart from the fact that it runs Vista!
I wonder if vendors are starting to learn now that this is becoming a recurring theme. People get a UMPC, are impressed and then have to battle through the bloated, unoptimised disappointment of Vista. In almost every case, people are turning off Aero and having to start thinking about optimizations and its killing the customers first few minutes experience with the device. Can you imagine what the response to the iPhone would be if the software didn’t actually work out of the box. If you had to wait for an extended time for windows to open and if you had to start searching forums and asking questions to find out if your device was broken and why some other people are happy with the performance? People should be turning on UMPCs in an optimised state with an Origami Experience-style welcome.
I said just about the same damned thing but in non-journalistic, everyday (some would say gutter) language (which I will be using again in the next paragraph, so tune out now) in my follow-up fondle of the Samsung Q1U.
I got several emails from UMPC experts pointing out that I could “optimize” Vista. Fuck that. I want to do work, not dick around with the shortcomings of Microsoft’s OS. You think Jobs would ignore shit in the iPhone before its release and would cavalierly decree, “Oh, people can optimize it after they buy it” — and would then release something that when people fondled it would actively turn away potential purchasers?
And yet, for his perfectionism, Jobs is seen as a tyrant. Well, if Jobs is a tyrant, then Microsoft is a self-absorbed fat pig.
I’ll take a tyrant over a pig any day.