OK, Second Laugh Of The Day: David Bamford

July 6, 2007

Whos got all all the fucking fivers? [blog dead]

Go look at the pictures!

(First?) Laugh Of The Day: Warren Ellis

July 6, 2007

Oh what a great headline!


It also gives me an opportunity to point to his Countdown Clock for the release of his first novel.

Oh Come On. I Have To Take This Cheap Shot At Nokia!

July 6, 2007

Nokia has announced an OS update to their (Anti-)Internet Tablet, the N800. In the announcement is this “Huh?” of a sentence:

Touch screen sensitiveness has been improved through software enhancements. Now the screen areas with most intensive use register events more efficiently.

Sensitiveness?! Try sensitivity.

I guess I should be glad they didn’t end the sentence, “with more efficientness.”

Previously in this blog:
Oh, Look At The Pathetic Stalkers!
LifeDrive Notes: Final WiFi Unfun
Cheap Is As Cheap Does, So Don’t Buy Cheap!
The Nokia 770 Is Not Dead Yet: Except To Me
Nokia Hätäkeino Sen Oma Peräruiske*
It’s A Phone, You Life-Deprived Eejits! A P-h-o-n-e!
Nokia 770: Now 99.9% Shit!
It’s Time To Stop Looking At Cheap Devices!
OQO: Tough Shit
Oh Look! Just Like My Nokia 770 Nightmare!
Why Does The Truth Always Come Out Too Damned Late?!!?
Don’t Beg Those Bastards! Boycott Their Shit!
A Horror Of Lovecraftian Proportions
Hey, Nokia! This Is How Quality Works!
Welcome, Apple. Seriously. (Not!)
WTF?!!? Will The Nokia N800 Be Worth Buying After All? (Updated: No.)
Like This Shit Is News?
770 Shitcanned By Nokia
Nokia 770: The Endgame
Coming Real Soon Now: My FINAL Nokia Post
Nokia N800: Still Shit!
CrunchGear Has Balls!
Blame the Nokia 770, Dammit!
Nokia 770: Now Twice As Shitty
Nokia 770 Plumbs New Depths Of Shit!
Nokia 770 Gets Shittier
Is Nokia Delusional?
Nokia 770 Regains Shit Title
There Is A Right Way, And There Is The Nokia Way
Is Nokia Totally Incompetent?
Are You Nokia 770 Owners Nuts?!!?
Nokia: Please Unshackle Me!
(Anti-) Progress Report

A Horrible Thought: What If The iPhone Is Just … A Phone?

July 6, 2007

I’d like the iPhone to offer some of the things that have become almost conventional with other phones: personally, the ability to do word processing and pair with a Bluetooth keyboard.

But I’m not sure that is ever going to happen.

The iPhone offers a revolutionary weightless scroll. What would happen if a word processing program was plopped into it? Suddenly, that weightless scroll would be an irritant! Not being a code jockey — and even not yet having an iPhone — I have to wonder if the weightless scroll is a feature built into the iPhone’s flavor of OS X. And if so, if that would mean any possible WP program for it would involve creating a conventional “weighted” scroll built-into the software itself, overriding the existing API. (Just as PalmOS WP programmers have had to devise their own file formats to get around the built-in limitations of text file length.)

As for pairing with a Bluetooth keyboard…

First, you just know Apple would want a piece of that hardware action. No way in hell will Steve Jobs permit the luscious aesthetics of the iPhone to be ruined by having it seated next to a fugly keyboard. Apple would have one of its own ready for sale. And it’d probably be the only Bluetooth keyboard that would work with an iPhone. (Aside from the lock-in factor, an Apple keyboard would probably have special keys to access on-screen controls otherwise activated by finger touch.)

Second, I’m beginning to suspect that Jobs has an Ace up his sleeve and is therefore very disinclined to expand the functionality of the iPhone in ways that would make it an ersatz notebook. If my hunch is right, we will never, ever see Bluetooth pairing with a keyboard (at least from Apple).

I am on the verge of believing that come next MacWorld Expo, not only will there be an iPhone 2.0 announced, but Apple will also announce some sort of mini tablet device that would fit between the iPhone and notebook product lines. If this is going to be so, then Apple wouldn’t want to “pre-cannibalize” sales from a future product. The last thing Jobs wants is to introduce such a product and have people react with, “Eh. I can do most of that stuff on my iPhone already. I don’t have to spend more money.” (A reaction not unlike that given to the Palm Foleo.)

It will be interesting to see what happens in the next few weeks and months. If Apple will indeed do a customized Bluetooth keyboard for the iPhone, I think it will be released just in time for Back To School sales. Think of all those college kids snapping it up for taking notes in class. (Ah, yes, college kids! Keep them in mind, Steve Jobs. Wouldn’t the iPhone be insanely great for electronic textbooks?)

The Great iDay iHype iFraud

July 6, 2007

IPhone Futures Prove to Be a Bad Investment

SAN FRANCISCO, July 5 — David Flashner thought he had it wired: buy two iPhones last Friday when they first went on sale, keep one and sell the other at a profit so big it would pay for most of the first one.

David Flashner bought two iPhones last Friday planning to keep one and sell one, but no one wanted to buy, so he returned the extra one.

Mr. Flashner wasted no time. He began advertising the extra phone while still in line at an Apple store in Burlingame, Calif., south of San Francisco. During his 21-hour wait, he posted half a dozen different ads to Craigslist — with prices ranging from $800 to $1,200 — and waited for the calls to come in.

But no calls came because consumers expect that stores will soon have phones in stock. He continued to advertise the extra phone through the weekend, and ended up with just one call, which went nowhere. On Wednesday, he returned the phone.

Mr. Flashner, 25, who manages an audio-visual equipment rental company, is not the only would-be iPhone reseller whose plan failed to follow the script. “I haven’t heard of a single person who sold one,” he said.

I’m not surprised.

What would surprise me is if someone said they had actually been paid to stand on line. In Manhattan, the first person on line at an AT&T Store had a sign asking $2,000(!) or Best Offer for the spot. At this same store, not far from the front, someone was asking $250 or Best Offer. At another AT&T Store, someone not far from the front was asking $150. (I have pictures of this which will run later; if you’re new here, I’ve used up my free WordPress image storage and will soon be making arrangements to pay for more — the photos will run then. Check back within a week or two.)

At the Apple Store Soho, they ripped through 1,000 people on line in just an hour. I spent a grand total of five minutes on line to fondle an iPhone.

I’m guilty of feeding the hype myself, by issuing a caution. I should have known better! The lines I saw were all well-behaved and the people were all having fun on them. I didn’t see any shady characters casing them. And none of the people I saw on line looked like the kind of people I saw lining up for the Wii at the Times Square Toys R Us (which also had a well-behaved, although very festive!, line).

I think all the talk of long lines actually scared people off. I think in the weeks to come, Apple will sell more iPhones than it did during its introductory weekend. Well, as soon as supplies are restocked!