I Put It Succinctly (And Even Cleanly)

July 15, 2007

My Comment on The iPhones have it

None of you who cite the alleged deficiencies of the iPhone understand the underlying point it makes: the complexity (you’d call it “choice”) of your current hardware exceeds the threshold of interest for most of the world’s population.

Ooh, it can’t do SMS. Grandpa won’t be able to type on that screen.

Hello! It’s a PHONE! Grandpa and non-typists will CALL!

Really, some of you must also think that the Catch-22ness of this world is the way It’s Supposed To Be. Baloney.

I am feeling an increased alienation with tech sites ever since the introduction of the iPhone. It’s as if the iPhone is a litmus test for clear thinking. Some people understand what Apple has managed to pull off… while others are best moving to Redmond, Washington and talking only amongst themselves so as not to confuse the general population with their warped admirations.

Warren Ellis Quotes Dennis Potter!

July 15, 2007

The thought of those two ever being together! Man, now that is a meeting and conversation I would have liked to have seen happen.

Anyway, Ellis has a new weekly column and there’s this:

This, of course, is the price of being a civilized man in Britain today: squatting in the open air, threatened by climatological nightmare and seagull shit while I savour the restorative properties of what Dennis Potter called “little tubes of delight.”

What made me actually go read the column (I’d been amiss in doing so) was the bit Ellis put on his own blog to promo it:

An ex-girlfriend once gave me a book called something like “Four American Writers Who Drank Until Their Livers Caught Fire And Slid Out Of Their Bumholes Like Meaty Napalm.” “Brilliant!” I said. “That wasn’t quite the reaction I was hoping for,” she said.

Ellis’s novel is due out Real Soon Now. Amass your pfennigs in preparation to storm your local book-pusher.

Previously in this blog (Warren Ellis):
(First?) Laugh Of The Day: Warren Ellis
Warren Ellis Is Shocked, Shocked!
Sample Warren Ellis’s Upcoming Novel For Free
Ah, Now I’ll Never Have To Try Red Bullshit!
Bless The Maker And His Water. Bless His Coming And Going.
Now I Know Why Warren Ellis Is Mesmerized By Twittervision
Victor Gischler Has A New Internet Berth
Damn You, Warren Ellis!!!
Things I Never Heard Of Before And Wish I’d Never Heard Of Now
Warren Ellis Speaks Truth!
A Part Of The Web Is Being Killed
Blogroll Additions: Warren Ellis & Sinfest
Go See This Fantastic Animation Video!
Supergirl Express
Warren Ellis Has Too Much Fun
Warren Ellis Has A Crooked Little Brain. And I Thank God For It, Too!
Warren Ellis Chimes In On The Blog Nazis Too
Photo Album: Leatherman
Warren Ellis Would Like This
Warren Ellis Puts His Fingers Into My Head And Plays With My Brain, Again!
Harlan Ellison: Hyperactive Squared!
Note To Myself: Get This Movie!
The Future Officially Began On February 16, 1978
Warren Ellis’s Worst(?) Nightmare
And Then Google’s Stock Finally Thank You Jesus Crashes And Takes The Entire Global Economy Down The Toilet, Thank You Science!
Aum Shinrikyo Redux
TV: From Infinity to Affinity
Congratulations to Warren Ellis
Even More Delays…

Previously in this blog (Dennis Potter):
Sad Anniversary: The Death Of Dennis Potter, June 7, 1994
Some Dennis Potter Links
Today Is The Anniversary Of The Birth Of Dennis Potter
The Greatest TV. Ever.

New Blog Feature: Fuck You Friday

July 15, 2007

I have to admit, it felt good to write this Friday.

It probably made jaws drop, toes curl, and made certain conventional people embarrassed for me.


Things need to be said. I’m not about to use Corporate-Approved Language, either. How much Corporate-Approved Language ever changed the world? Put that in your PowerPoint and shove it.

Stalkers will have noted in their spreadsheeting of this blog that I’ve actually not done as much bitching as in prior weeks and months. That’s mainly because I’ve been too busy with other things at the PC to wander about the Net and too busy to even peek into reddit and digg. Basically, if I don’t see it, I can’t get mad at it.

I think what I’m going to do from now on is save up all that foul language of my Pattonesque expressions for one day: Friday.

And I’m going to call it Fuck You Friday.

That will be when I will let loose the canines of combat onto the sons of bitches who complacently turn this world into a stinking pile of steaming shit for everybody else.

Of course, this is no guarantee that every Friday will be nothing but Fuck Yous. Just that I reserve that day specifically for cutting assholes new assholes. If it turns out a Friday arrives and I have no exceedingly-toxic Fuck Yous to delightfully share, so be it.

That doesn’t mean Monday through Thursday will be Disneyland around here. Just that the real shit will spew on Fridays. So, you can read this blog Monday-Thursday for the, uh, milder stuff. And then go hide under your bed when Friday comes around.

Oh Great. Now I’m The Go-To Guy For Fuck You.

July 15, 2007

Search terms that led to this blog today:

fuck you 16

And yesterday:

fuck you 7

My Pathetic MySpace

July 15, 2007


Go on. Add me, dammit.

Check out the current list of friends. Writers you should read and bands you should hear.

I should add this page to my Blogroll… done.

The Incomparable Miss Shirley Bassey

July 15, 2007

There it is, the mid-1960s, and AM radio was filled with stuff from The Beatles, The Beatles, The Beatles, the Rolling Stones, and others.

And then, out of nowhere, this humongous booming voice would strain the speakers:


Oh my god! What was that?! Who is that!?

Miss Shirley Bassey. If God could sing in a woman’s voice, it would be her voice!

Here she is in a dailymotion video in the late 1960s singing What I Did For Love.

Here she is in a YouTube video in the late 1960s doing Goldfinger live on German TV.

Here she is in a YouTube video in the 1990s doing History Repeating with The Propellerheads.

Here she is in a YouTube video this year covering a Pink song, Get the Party Started.

Damn John Rogers for putting up that last video on his blog and causing me to leave the PC an hour later than I wanted today!


Her MySpace page (add me! add me! add meeeee!)
Her website

I Don’t Think I’ve Ever Heard A Prince Song

July 15, 2007

Didn’t he do some songs for the Michael Keaton Batman movie? That and his “The-artist-formerly-known-as-Prince” routine is practically all I know about him.

Anyway, this article shows him to be a very interesting fellow indeed. It’s people like him who change the world.

With remarkable prescience, as far back as 1995 he told an interviewer: ‘Once the internet is a reality the music business is finished. There won’t be any need for record companies. If I can send you my record direct, what’s the point of having the business? I don’t even have a manager any more. Would you want somebody living off your work?’

When record company executives warned him against releasing Sign O’ The Times as a double album, he ignored their wishes and it became his most critically acclaimed work.

‘These are the same people who would tell Mozart he writes too many notes or say that Citizen Kane is a long movie,’ he said at the time.

He knows how to treat The Suits:

The maverick from Minneapolis has been doing things his way since 1977 when, at the age of 19, he signed a three-album deal and blew the budget for all three albums on the first one, and this after insisting that he play all the instruments himself, record all the vocals himself – and produce it himself. He had assumed full artistic control from the off and he has never relinquished it.

I love it!!!

And [today] he releases Planet Earth, his brilliant new ten-track album, exclusively through The Mail on Sunday, a move that has sparked controversy across the music industry.

A spokesman for Prince said: ‘Prince feels that charts are just music industry constructions and have little or no relevance to fans or even artists today. Prince’s only aim is to get music direct to those what want to hear it. Prince famously took a stand against Warner Records in the Nineties when he went on strike and appeared with the world “slave” drawn on his cheek. Subsequently, he regained control of the publishing right to his work and broke down the existing system through his innovation.’

Planet Earth, which is not due to go on sale until July 24, will also be given away free to holders of tickets to Prince’s London 02 concerts in August and September. When asked recently why he had decided to do this, Prince replied: ‘It’s directing marketing as well, and I don’t have to be in the speculation business of the record industry, which is going through a lot of tumultuous times right now.’

Dig that! He is giving his latest album away free when you buy a copy of a certain newspaper!

Is that an eleven-point-oh on the Richter Scale of the music industry or what?

However, in recent years it has been his determination to challenge the music industry that has had everyone in the business talking – and not always favourably. His decision earlier this year to offer a track from his new Planet Earth album, Guitar, as a free download as part of a deal with American mobile phone giant Verizon prompted anger from the record industry. But antipathy towards Prince for embracing new ways of getting his music to fans reached a crescendo when he decided to release Planet Earth, not in record shops or even online, but free inside The Mail on Sunday. It was another clear signal that Prince intends to keep control of his music. And with Planet Earth he is undoubtedly back to his very best.

Man, I never even heard of that Verizon deal. That’s how far out of mainstream news circles I can get. Good for him, though. I hope The Suits felt the ground shake underneath their feet.

Pity yourselves, all of you who grew up in the bosom of love and comfort:

School was a pretty miserable experience. He was teased about his height – he is only 5ft 2in without his trademark heels – and was continually the butt of jokes. He was given various nicknames, the cruellest of which was ‘Butcher Dog’ because his peers decreed that he looked like an alsatian. ‘Princess’ was another taunt.

Life at home was not much better. Not only was the family worse off after the departure of John Nelson, but his mother remarried and Prince took an instant dislike to his stepfather, Hayward Barker, whom he saw as ‘materialistic’.

‘He would bring us presents all the time rather than sit down and talk with us or give us companionship,’ Prince has said. ‘I would say all the things I disliked about him rather than tell him what I really needed which was a mistake, and kind of hurt our relationship.’


His father was barely around and his mother found him so difficult she turfed him out, though it is unclear exactly why. Had it not been for his best friend André Cymone’s mother allowing him to live in her basement, the teenage Prince might have been homeless.

You think his kind of drive would have developed had he grown up all loved and comfy, feeling fulfilled and contented? Shitty childhoods can lead to world-changing greatness (for those who never, ever give up). Great childhoods lead to … employment at Microsoft or Nokia and other variations of ghastly Suited corporate anonymity, suicidal conformity, and plodding mediocrity.

Go Prince! Show everyone how the future will be done!

Sunday 1:11PM EDST

July 15, 2007

Four fighter jets just zoomed overhead. This is not something that happens.

Christ, I hope there’s an airshow going on I don’t know about.

The alternative is an alert…