Quaker Oats Sends Me A Sorry-Assed Email Reply

Continuing my latest jihad against Corporate Stupidity, this time with Quaker Oats as a personal target because they are now persecuting me.

Here is their sorry-assed email reply:

RE: Quaker Sweet & Salty Granola Bars , REF.#[redacted]


We’re sorry to tell you that Quaker Toasted Crunch Bars have been discontinued and were replaced by Quaker Sweet & Salty Bars. We’re sorry that you did not enjoy this new product. We have sent a full value coupon to replace your purchase. Please allow 7-10 business days for the coupon to arrive.

Our objective, pure and simple, is to make high-quality products that our consumers will choose again and again. We appreciate your input and have shared your comments with our Product Developement Team.

Mike, we’re sorry to disappoint you. We hope you find another product you like just as much.

I’m not going to put up with that shit!

This was my actual emailed reply:

No, sorry. You don’t get off that easy.

I’ve been blogging this:


Whoever made the decision had better reverse it. My wrath is endless.

What am I supposed to do with this piss-poor bribe of a coupon you’re allegedly sending me, Quaker Oats? Buy that atrocious Sweet & Salty shit? I’d rather take a bullet to the head than put that shit in my mouth ever again! I’ve got three bars of that shit left. Maybe I’ll feed them to pigeons and squirrels. But if I come across their dead bodies later, I’m calling the ASPCA!

Surrender now. Bring back my Crunchy Oatmeal Bars!

Previously in this blog:
Fuck Quaker Oats!
Quaker Oats Must Die!

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