Mass-Murdering Cat Signals Post-Millennial Holocaust

July 26, 2007

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Oscar the cat predicts patients’ deaths

PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means they have less than four hours to live.

“He doesn’t make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die,” said Dr. David Dosa in an interview. He describes the phenomenon in a poignant essay in Thursday’s issue of the New England Journal of Medicine.

“Many family members take some solace from it. They appreciate the companionship that the cat provides for their dying loved one,” said Dosa, a geriatrician and assistant professor of medicine at Brown University.

The 2-year-old feline was adopted as a kitten and grew up in a third-floor dementia unit at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center. The facility treats people with Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease and other illnesses.

After about six months, the staff noticed Oscar would make his own rounds, just like the doctors and nurses. He’d sniff and observe patients, then sit beside people who would wind up dying in a few hours.

People are so stupid!

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Frank Black has been tracking this cat! It’s the greatest enemy mankind has ever faced. Because it’s teaching its brother and sister cats how.


(First) Quote Of The Day: GracefulFlavor

July 26, 2007

AAPL en fuego.

What else is there? Just another fantastic performance by what might be the best management team in technology. Does this make me a fanboy? Do I see the world through Apple-goggles? Let me put it this way: whether you love or hate or are just indifferent to Apple, if you chose not to recognize the financial performance that’s going on, quarter-after-quarter, then you’re a moron. What we have here is a company at the top of its game, a stock that has a huge emotional/speculative bias towards it and a management team that knows how to trickle the PR/news out just right to keep the engine humming on all twelve.

If I were going to buy my son 10 shares of any stock that he’ll hold until he’s 18, Apple would be on the short list. It might be the short list.


Don’t Ever Fake Trackback My Blog Again

July 26, 2007

Now people will never know where to go to get these two great T-shirts, either! Because I’ve cropped out your embedded URL!

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And I’d wear this all the time, except I don’t think its target audience can read:

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Count up those lost sales. moron.


Why I Deleted Your Trackback, Moron

July 26, 2007

Ah, the day starts with a squeeze to my bile ducts!

Two of them! Not only the topic of this post, but the fact that WordPress just burped and goddam ate the original text I’d put in!

So the Trackback was to siphon off some hits from this previous post of mine.

You eejit.

You’re offering this T-shirt:

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You don’t have to come here like some trenchcoated sleazebag going Pssst! to my bizarre readers. You should have just emailed me a link. I would have seen that T, and given you a post.

Like this one.

Except, you know, it would have included a link to your site.

But this post won’t.

Moron.