Diogenes was knee deep in a stream washing vegetables. Coming up to him, Plato said, “My good Diogenes, if you knew how to pay court to kings, you wouldn’t have to wash vegetables.”
“And,” replied Diogenes, “If you knew how to wash vegetables, you wouldn’t have to pay court to kings.”
Diogenes was strolling through the market place. Suddenly, he called out in despair, “Men! Men! Men! . . . ”
Immediately, they came running from all directions: young fops with flowers in their hair; lusty young boys, scantily dressed, hanging off the arms of older men; freemen, their slaves beside them burdened down with groceries, their cheeks bulging with small change; merchants who had left their shops in answer to Diogenes’ call.
He looked at them searchingly one by one and with a sad shrug turned to walk away. “I called for men,” he said in disgust.
Diogenes was asked, “What is the difference between life and death?
“Well then, why do you remain in this life?”
“Because there is no difference.”