Nokia’s Upcoming Fake iPhone

August 31, 2007

10 things we know about Nokia’s iPhone competitor

I’d like to add two more things:

11) It will suck.

12) It will crash — alot.

Previously in this blog: (fake iPhones)
China’s Ferocious iPhone Clones

Previously in this blog: (Nokia)
Nokia Is Phone Of Choice For Photographing Drunk Finnish Girls Who Piss In Public
Nokia’s Drunk Driving-Named Service: No Surprise After All
Nokia Names New Service After Drunk Driving
Quote Of The Day: Nokia’s Innate Ineptness
Nokia Fails To Plant Bomb In My Cellphone
Oh Look! I Get To Bash Palm And Nokia At The Same Time! It’s Two Two Two Hits In One!
Five Things Nokia Needs To Do To Improve Our Lives
Nokia: Hankkiutua Sinun Hautajaiset
Nokia’s Creative Bankruptcy Continues Full Speed Ahead!
Microsoft, Palm, And Nokia: You Better Be Freaking Out!!
Oh, Look At The Pathetic Stalkers!
LifeDrive Notes: Final WiFi Unfun
Cheap Is As Cheap Does, So Don’t Buy Cheap!
The Nokia 770 Is Not Dead Yet: Except To Me
Nokia Hätäkeino Sen Oma Peräruiske*
It’s A Phone, You Life-Deprived Eejits! A P-h-o-n-e!
Nokia 770: Now 99.9% Shit!
It’s Time To Stop Looking At Cheap Devices!
OQO: Tough Shit
Oh Look! Just Like My Nokia 770 Nightmare!
Why Does The Truth Always Come Out Too Damned Late?!!?
Don’t Beg Those Bastards! Boycott Their Shit!
A Horror Of Lovecraftian Proportions
Hey, Nokia! This Is How Quality Works!
Welcome, Apple. Seriously. (Not!)
WTF?!!? Will The Nokia N800 Be Worth Buying After All? (Updated: No.)
Like This Shit Is News?
770 Shitcanned By Nokia
Nokia 770: The Endgame
Coming Real Soon Now: My FINAL Nokia Post
Nokia N800: Still Shit!
CrunchGear Has Balls!
Blame the Nokia 770, Dammit!
Nokia 770: Now Twice As Shitty
Nokia 770 Plumbs New Depths Of Shit!
Nokia 770 Gets Shittier
Is Nokia Delusional?
Nokia 770 Regains Shit Title
There Is A Right Way, And There Is The Nokia Way
Is Nokia Totally Incompetent?
Are You Nokia 770 Owners Nuts?!!?
Nokia: Please Unshackle Me!
(Anti-) Progress Report

Should Apple Turn iTunes Into A Platform?

August 31, 2007

NY Times: NBC Will Not Renew ITunes Contract

Nuclear strike:
Apple: iTunes Store To Stop Selling NBC Television Shows

CUPERTINO, California—August 31, 2007—Apple® today announced that it will not be selling NBC television shows for the upcoming television season on its online iTunes® Store ( The move follows NBC’s decision to not renew its agreement with iTunes after Apple declined to pay more than double the wholesale price for each NBC TV episode, which would have resulted in the retail price to consumers increasing to $4.99 per episode from the current $1.99. ABC, CBS, FOX and The CW, along with more than 50 cable networks, are signed up to sell TV shows from their upcoming season on iTunes at $1.99 per episode.

“We are disappointed to see NBC leave iTunes because we would not agree to their dramatic price increase,” said Eddy Cue, Apple’s vice president of iTunes. “We hope they will change their minds and offer their TV shows to the tens of millions of iTunes customers.”

Apple’s agreement with NBC ends in December. Since NBC would withdraw their shows in the middle of the television season, Apple has decided to not offer NBC TV shows for the upcoming television season beginning in September. NBC supplied iTunes with three of its 10 best selling TV shows last season, accounting for 30 percent of iTunes TV show sales.

Apple’s counter-strike could be cutting off its nose to spite its face. NBC and Fox just announced their Hulu (excuse me while I ROTF to LMAO) service — but it turns out its beta won’t even begin until October. That leaves NBC’s series suddenly without any sales outlet on the Net.

Even worse: It looks like NBC’s plans to spread around their upcoming pilots has just had a big hole drilled through it. I don’t think we’ll be seeing these in the iTunes Store!

Changing its future for the worst!

For all of these companies that are suddenly withdrawing from the iTunes Store, I recommend reading these two pieces:

Friction and the Consumer Experience [link fixed on 02/11/09]

“Friction” is why e-books adoption is slow

Making people hop from site to site, service to service, having to remember multiple usernames and passwords is adding friction to the customer experience. Friction is not good. Friction is like a speedbump suddenly appearing on a highway.

Friction is your doom.

Like it or not, the iTunes Store offers a fast, easy, and centralized customer experience. It is to media what Windows is to computing: the hard-fought standard. Where are all the competitors to MS-DOS that were still available in its infancy? Where’s CP/M? Where’s DR-DOS? Where’s AppleDOS? Where are all those other windowing shells that were supposed to compete and drain people away from Windows? Where’s GEOS? Where’s GEM?

Imagine if I had to do something more than hit a button on my remote control to access ABC, NBC, CBS, or any other channel.

This fight is stupid.

For both Apple and for every media company.

And if there is any fight here, it should be for a standard for a marketplace any company can tap into. Just as broadcasting settled on the FCC-mandated NTSC standard for American television, maybe it’s time to develop a standard for online media purchasing.

I can see people from Microsoft reading this and salivating, so let me make this clear right now. Microsoft should have no part in this. They’ve had numerous opportunities to create such a standard and every single one of them has failed — including the Zune. If any company should be at the center of such an effort, it should be Apple.

Apple should turn iTunes into a platform instead of a doorway to a single store.

This would preserve the iTunes Store ease of use and offload media storage, sales, and customer service onto the partner stores. If Universal Music Group thinks it can gouge customers with its variable pricing, hey, let it still have access via iTunes and find out for itself. If NBC thinks it can stiff people with bundled videos no one wants, have at it via the iTunes software portal. Apple should seriously consider changing the iTunes Store into an iTunes Mall.

I don’t have to go into teeny details here about how that would work. Apple is filled with brains who could make this work. It’s a matter of Steve Jobs having the will to do so.

I think this is a chance for Apple to create a true global standard in an area that is only going to increase in importance. It can be the dominant force in ease-of-use media sales. It can bring harmony and unity where now there is none — and where entropy threatens to undermine a crucial element in the Net’s future. And Apple can be at the center of it all.

Did you just read this post? Now click here.

Pull It Out!

August 31, 2007


See here.

Don’t Increase My Tension!

August 31, 2007

Help Girls Rock Radio Replace Failed Station Equipment

Dollars raised so far for this request: $ 25.00 USD.
Goal = $2,000.00

This is the third day I’ve posted about this. I sent them US$5.00 via PayPal. That broke the US$0.00 they had been stuck at. I asked you lot to match my measly US$5.00. But only four other people have contributed? (Or was it just one at US$20?)

I want to see that total raised increase, dammit. Kick in five bucks!

You don’t pay shit to read this blog. And I’m not looking for any money for it. So send them some. NOW!

Previously in this blog:
Hey You Reading This. Don’t Piss Me Off Like This!
Open Yer Damn Wallets!
Help Girls Rock Radio Replace Failed Station Equipment

Blog Notes: Today’s Fucking Tech Conspiracy

August 30, 2007

I spent a half hour trying to get that last post up. Kept getting evicted by “WordPress is undergoing maintenance on your server, suckah! Because, Mike Cane, we want to personally persecute you!!” messages.

Before that, I had so many JPGs in one folder, it was bringing this rotten PC to its knees. So I had to distribute them into some other folders.

And before that, I had to run AdAware and Spybot Search & Destroy to find out what has been making this PC run so fucking slow. It turned out I had two precursors to that goddammed SmitFraud lurking in the guts. I spent over a week getting rid of that motherfucker last year. Now, even with Avast! AntiVirus running all the goddammed time (I just love the days I get three three three!!! announcements of “Virus database has been updated!” in that jarring mechno-voice — how many fucking virii are out there?!!? And why the fuck can’t the CIA grab those bastards under Extraordinary Rendition and ship them off to be tortured and murdered?!!? — perform a real anti-terrorist service, dammit!), evil things are still slipping in!

I am so far behind not only on previous stuff, but all the stuff I wanted to post today.

Going through MySpace Bulletins alone is eating more time than I could have ever imagined. I might have to start sending out my own very nasty Bulletins to get everyone else to cut back.

I’m throwing in the towel for today. Even while doing this, I’m still getting WordPress maintenance messages.

The Internet Creates Its Own, Uh, Culture

August 30, 2007

That band with the crazy-ass marketing I’ve documented here and here, u239, sent out a link in a MySpace Bulletin.

Chris Hansen – Dateline NBC

About Sound bytes from Dateline NBC’s TO CATCH A PREDATOR series. Chris Hansen is the reporter.


OK, my question is, if there hadn’t been an Internet to post this on, if audio digitization and editing wasn’t available, would the person behind this have done it with Compact Cassette tapes?!

Free Movie: Zeitgeist

August 30, 2007

Zeitgeist movie home page — embedded Google Flash video

I watched the first five minutes of this. It took that long to get to the frikkin title of the movie!

When the voice narration began, I became suspicious. I clicked on the links at the bottom of the page. This seems to be the product of one of those groups that believes the September 11 attacks were part of a massive government-backed conspiracy. It also mixes in a bunch of prior conspiracy theories into what I guess is a stew so potent that susceptible and ignorant people will swallow it without stopping to question what they’re digesting.

I think it’s mostly bullshit. But you go decide. I stopped five minutes in and won’t go any further.

You Wish You Could Be This Good

August 30, 2007

Raquel Villo sends out a Directive from Raquel HQ:



im bored.
fix it.


no messages.

Previously in this blog:
YouTube: Lips Like Morphine

Hey You Reading This. Don’t Piss Me Off Like This!

August 30, 2007

Help Girls Rock Radio Replace Failed Station Equipment

Dollars raised so far for this request: $ 25.00 USD.
Goal = $2,000.00

I posted about this yesterday the day before too. I sent them US$5.00 via PayPal. That broke the US$0.00 they had been stuck at. I asked you lot to match my measly US$5.00. But only four other people have contributed? (Or was it just one at US$20?)

What the fuck is this?

You don’t pay shit to read this blog. And I’m not looking for any money for it. So send them some. NOW!

Previously in this blog:
Open Yer Damn Wallets!
Help Girls Rock Radio Replace Failed Station Equipment

Life Is Determined To Kill My Brain

August 29, 2007

Well go on, you reconcile these two things!

Richard Jewell found dead in home

Richard Jewell, the Centennial Olympic Park security guard once suspected — but later cleared — in the bombing of the park during the 1996 Summer Games, was found dead Wednesday in his home in Meriwether County. He was 44.

100-year-old celebrates her birthday by smoking 170,000th cigarette

An iron-lunged pensioner has celebrated her 100th birthday by lighting up her 170,000th cigerette from a candle on her birthday cake.

Winnie Langley started smoking only days after the First World War broke out in June 1914 when she was just seven-years-old – and has got through five a day ever since.

She has no intention of quitting, even after the nationwide ban forced tobacco-lovers outside.

The incompetency with which the Atlanta Olympics bombing was handled foreshadowed the incompetency that allowed blatant terrorists-in-training to accomplish the September 11 attacks.

As for that woman, I want some of her stem cells.