I Give NBC A Kick To The Nuts. It’s Called An Incentive.

August 7, 2007

My post on the NBC Journeyman Message Board.

And look at that: my damn becomes ****.

Wankers.

Let’s see if the post remains.

Previously in this blog:
Now Sinfest Persecutes Me!
Hey, NBC! Leak Journeyman, Dammit!!
Bourne Ultimatum? Yes. Journeyman? No.
Hollywood: Settle!
Brightcove: Journeyman Preview
DailyMotion: Ha. Ha. Ha.
Are The Suits Using P2P To Hype Their Shows?


Now Sinfest Persecutes Me!

August 7, 2007

Go ahead, Ishida. Yuck it up over my lust to see Journeyman!

Previously in this blog:
Hey, NBC! Leak Journeyman, Dammit!!
Bourne Ultimatum? Yes. Journeyman? No.
Hollywood: Settle!
Brightcove: Journeyman Preview
DailyMotion: Ha. Ha. Ha.
Are The Suits Using P2P To Hype Their Shows?


The Mike Cane Persecution Checklist

August 7, 2007

Let’s see the scorecard thus far of Things I Love/Need and Their Current Status:

Wendy’s 99-cent menu: Dead!
(Where I am most things are now $1.29!)

Table of Malcontents: Dead!

Junkiness: Dead!

Scribez: Dead?

Toasted Quaker Oats Bars: Dead!
(And I haven’t forgotten your asses, QO!)

Fake Steve Jobs: Dead!

Pizza slice for $1 in Manhattan: Dead!
(I went yesterday and it’s now $1.50!)

Lo Mein in Chinatown for $1: Endangered species!
(One street stall raised it to $1.25!)

What’s next? Who’s next?

(Go on, laugh it up. It’ll be my turn when you pay $8/gallon of gas, suckah!) (Right, like that shit won’t immediately ripple down to my world!)


Hey, NBC! Leak Journeyman, Dammit!!

August 7, 2007

Television Studios Embrace BitTorrent

From loathing and resisting BitTorrent and the illegal distribution of their shows to encouraging downloading and leaking pilots, TV studios have a come a long way. The creator of ‘Weeds’ is stoked that someone pirated her show.

Can I get Journeyman, though? Noooooo! I can get The Bourne Ultimatum if I want (note to Legal: that is not an admission!). I can get a whole load of shit I never even knew existed. But can I get the one thing I really really really want to see? Noooo!

My persecution continues!

Previously in this blog:
Bourne Ultimatum? Yes. Journeyman? No.
Hollywood: Settle!
Brightcove: Journeyman Preview
DailyMotion: Ha. Ha. Ha.
Are The Suits Using P2P To Hype Their Shows?


Quote Of The Day: Uncov

August 7, 2007

YouGetIt: Epic Fail

YouGetIt is so stupid I think it gave me diabetes. It’s like a Craigslist without the organic content mashed together with Pageflakes-style drag & drop Ajax douchebaggery, baked for 30 minutes and served with a piping hot side of fail.

Allegedly, YouGetIt is a web start page that will connect you to local resources. It uses little draggable modules to separate different categories of content, so if you don’t like the “Local TV Stations” module in the left column, you can drag it to the middle. Can you smell the revolution?

Ah, fuck. How long before this site goes belly-up? Uncov, I mean. It’s too good to keep going. It’s like The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs (was) except, you know, real.


Stop Being Babies! That’s Not A Corpse!

August 7, 2007

I don’t engage in necro-postings. The dead guy is an actor! It’s fake, for crying out loud! Fake!

Go see the YouTube video. It’s Sprockets from SNL!

Just for that, you may not touch my monkey!

SNLmonkey
No. Not for you!


And So The Long Knives Start To Come Out…

August 7, 2007

Daniel Lyons: Fake Steve Jobs and the SCO Shill Who Hated Linux

After months of tongue in cheek blogging as an even more wildly eccentric and brutally forthright version of Apple CEO Steve Jobs, Daniel Lyons of Forbes Magazine was outed by Brad Stone of the New York Times as the real Fake Steve Jobs. What Stone didn’t reveal was Lyons’ far more scandalous past as a shill for the bottom feeding SCO Group and its outrageous attack on Linux and open source.

See? When I said FSJ was dead, I wasn’t kidding.

Hmmm… does that Judastard Brad Stone use Linux?

Previously in this blog:
The Betrayal Of Fake Steve Jobs: Daniel Lyons, You Suck!
The Betrayal Of Fake Steve Jobs: Brad Stone, You Suck!
Quotes Of The Day: Bastard Of The Year Edition
The Irony. The Irony, I Say!!
Fake Steve Jobs Is Dead. Sit Shiva With Me!
Bastard Of The Year
Why Fake Steve Jobs Is The Only Living God On The Internet (Kneel!)
I Am Fake Steve Jobs
Who The Fuck Is This Dickhead?
I Must Start The Day With Thanks
OMG! FSJ Likes Me! He Really Likes Me!
Quote Of The Day: Fake Steve Jobs
Mucho Namaste To FSJ!
FSJ Has Guts Like RSJ
FSJ Gives Today’s Outrageously Funny Bellylaugh!
FSJ Provides Today’s Two Laughs
If FSJ Says It, Then It Is So!
Blogroll Additions: FSJ and Utube Blog
Fake Steve Jobs Does Real Blog


The Betrayal Of Fake Steve Jobs: Daniel Lyons, You Suck!

August 7, 2007

You knew the day was coming. You knew that someone would finally unmask you.

But did you prepare for it at all? Did you anticipate the horror such a revelation would be to the legions of FSJ worshippers?

No.

FSJ00b
All of us had wondered who this Man of Mystery was…

FSJ01b
His talent was such that it seemed his feet never touched the earth…

FSJ03
What did he look like? Was he one of us?

FSJ04
And then he was revealed and we shrieked in horror!

Lyons
He’s the frikkin guy who plays the PC in the Apple TV ads!!!

Hey, Lyons! Are you crazy?! Are you nuts?! Are you a Microsoft stooge?

At the very frikkin least, you could have prepared a picture of yourself in a black turtleneck!

FSJ06

So OK then, you could have even made it on the conservative side.

FSJ07

But now? It’s too late. You’re dead. There’s nothing left of you.

FSJ08

You did what the real Steve Jobs would have never done: Forgot the details!

And for that, I have only one thing left to say to you:

FSJ05
Touch My Monkey!

Previously in this blog:
The Betrayal Of Fake Steve Jobs: Brad Stone, You Suck!
Quotes Of The Day: Bastard Of The Year Edition
The Irony. The Irony, I Say!!
Fake Steve Jobs Is Dead. Sit Shiva With Me!
Bastard Of The Year
Why Fake Steve Jobs Is The Only Living God On The Internet (Kneel!)
I Am Fake Steve Jobs
Who The Fuck Is This Dickhead?
I Must Start The Day With Thanks
OMG! FSJ Likes Me! He Really Likes Me!
Quote Of The Day: Fake Steve Jobs
Mucho Namaste To FSJ!
FSJ Has Guts Like RSJ
FSJ Gives Today’s Outrageously Funny Bellylaugh!
FSJ Provides Today’s Two Laughs
If FSJ Says It, Then It Is So!
Blogroll Additions: FSJ and Utube Blog
Fake Steve Jobs Does Real Blog


The Betrayal Of Fake Steve Jobs: Brad Stone, You Suck!

August 7, 2007

BS01
Look! I know who Fake Steve Jobs is!!

BS02
What? That’s who he is?

BS03
Here, let me spoil your day too!

BS04
How do you feel now? Better?

BS05
…ugh… puke…

What does the future hold for Brad Stone? We consulted our resident expert here at The Mike Cane Institute of Global Snarkery:

BS09
Tell me, who better?

BS10
Good evening, my friends. Can you stand to see his future?

BS11
For the future is where he is doomed to live!

BS12

BS06

BS07

BS08

BS13

Bs14
Yes, my friends! He will return as … Steve Ballmer!!!
Can you stand the horror?

Previously in this blog:
Quotes Of The Day: Bastard Of The Year Edition
The Irony. The Irony, I Say!!
Fake Steve Jobs Is Dead. Sit Shiva With Me!
Bastard Of The Year
Why Fake Steve Jobs Is The Only Living God On The Internet (Kneel!)
I Am Fake Steve Jobs
Who The Fuck Is This Dickhead?
I Must Start The Day With Thanks
OMG! FSJ Likes Me! He Really Likes Me!
Quote Of The Day: Fake Steve Jobs
Mucho Namaste To FSJ!
FSJ Has Guts Like RSJ
FSJ Gives Today’s Outrageously Funny Bellylaugh!
FSJ Provides Today’s Two Laughs
If FSJ Says It, Then It Is So!
Blogroll Additions: FSJ and Utube Blog
Fake Steve Jobs Does Real Blog