Laugh Of The Day: Photoshop Fun Edition

August 18, 2007

TOP 10 Worst Places to Hide Dead Hookers

Oh shut up. It’s perfectly safe. Not gross. Very, very funny.

Warren Ellis Reveals His Music Secret

August 18, 2007

Oh man, thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks!

A brilliant, genius system to maximize tearing through the jillions of groups and songs that are out there to find ones you really like but never before discovered.

Go read.

(Also sent out as MySpace Bulletin where I encountered it first. I’m damned glad he also posted it on his site for everyone else to learn from.)

Previously in this blog:(Warren Ellis)
R.I.P.: Artist Mike Wieringo
Photo Album: Warren Ellis’s Book
Warren Ellis Got A New Gig
Warren Ellis: Chapter One Of Next Week’s Novel Available
Warren Ellis Quotes Dennis Potter!
(First?) Laugh Of The Day: Warren Ellis
Warren Ellis Is Shocked, Shocked!
Sample Warren Ellis’s Upcoming Novel For Free
Ah, Now I’ll Never Have To Try Red Bullshit!
Bless The Maker And His Water. Bless His Coming And Going.
Now I Know Why Warren Ellis Is Mesmerized By Twittervision
Victor Gischler Has A New Internet Berth
Damn You, Warren Ellis!!!
Things I Never Heard Of Before And Wish I’d Never Heard Of Now
Warren Ellis Speaks Truth!
A Part Of The Web Is Being Killed
Blogroll Additions: Warren Ellis & Sinfest
Go See This Fantastic Animation Video!
Supergirl Express
Warren Ellis Has Too Much Fun
Warren Ellis Has A Crooked Little Brain. And I Thank God For It, Too!
Warren Ellis Chimes In On The Blog Nazis Too
Photo Album: Leatherman
Warren Ellis Would Like This
Warren Ellis Puts His Fingers Into My Head And Plays With My Brain, Again!
Harlan Ellison: Hyperactive Squared!
Note To Myself: Get This Movie!
The Future Officially Began On February 16, 1978
Warren Ellis’s Worst(?) Nightmare
And Then Google’s Stock Finally Thank You Jesus Crashes And Takes The Entire Global Economy Down The Toilet, Thank You Science!
Aum Shinrikyo Redux
TV: From Infinity to Affinity
Congratulations to Warren Ellis
Even More Delays…

Previously in this blog:(music)
Five Things That Would Improve MySpace
Elton John Is A Senile Old Man
Why You Should Be On MySpace
There. Aren’t. Enough. Hours. In. A. Day.
The Anthem Of Music’s Future
Note To Self: Another Movie To Buy
The Song That Makes Me Cry
Playing With Pandora, It Scores A Hit!

WTF Is This “Man Bag” Shit? Grow Up.

August 18, 2007

Three times this week I’ve seen people — OK, males (I won’t call them men) — wail or giggle about real men who carry shoulder bags.

What the fuck is this shit?

I’ve been carrying a fucking bag on my shoulders since nineteen fucking eighty-four.

And guess what?

In New York City, that was considered late to the game.

I’ve blown out my left shoulder several times from the weight of the goddammed bag. My back doctor was amazed at how “developed” my left shoulder is compared to my right (well, fuck, gotta keep the right side free for the occasional fist swing). Now I’m carrying it on my right shoulder because my left can no longer take it (for the occasional fist, I’m resigned to just dumping the fucking bag onto the concrete and hoping nothing inside will break — much).

I don’t know how the hell anyone can claim to be an intelligent man here in the twenty-first century future without heaving a damned bag on your shoulder.

Where am I supposed to put my three AC adapters? What about the 1-3 books I usually have (sometimes more if I’m bringing returns to the NYPL)? The 2-3 bottles or 4 cans of soda? My folding keyboard? Paper towels (to wipe rain off a bench or stanch the occasional bit of blood — that latter hasn’t happened yet)? Snack foods? Folding umbrella? Things I’ve picked up in a store? And all the other shit packed in that bag?

My bag is usually ten pounds to begin with. Sometimes it’s gotten up to twenty (hence the forlorn and protesting left shoulder).

Anyone I see without a shoulder bag I eye with deep suspicion. I can immediately see that person doesn’t read, is probably afraid of looking like a “girl” or a “queer,” most likely couldn’t use a computer even if the payoff was hot sex with a supermodel, and fuck all is someone I’d rather not have in my proximity.

So stop all this shit about “man bags.” Grow the fuck up. It’s sign of IQ, goddammit. Shoulder it with some self-respect.

And for the males — who are clearly not men — who are still all ascared: in all the years I’ve been lugging mine, I have never gotten any comments about looking like a “girl” or a “queer.” Maybe that’s because I live in New York City, where most of the people are fucking grown-ups.