By The Book: Jeff Zucker Vs. Steve Jobs

September 1, 2007

Some digging has revealed that Jeff Zucker and Steve Jobs are following the advice of the same guru.

But while Zucker is motivated by this handbook…

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This is what Steve Jobs uses…

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For more information click here.

Previously in this blog:
Jeff Zucker: Like Dubya, Only Worse
Newsflash! Jeff Zucker Buys Condo From Dick Morris!
Jeff Zucker: He Don’t Do Emo
Jff Zukr: Ur No Gneeiz No
Quote Of The Day: Jobs Rulz, Gates Luz
A Post-iTunes Fable For NBC
Should Apple Turn iTunes Into A Platform?


Jeff Zucker: Like Dubya, Only Worse

September 1, 2007

The Apprentice’s Sorcerer

Last week, after 39-year-old Jeff Zucker was crowned president of the newly merged NBC Universal Television Group–now the biggest broadcasting company in America–the only question remaining for the NBC loyalists under Mr. Zucker’s management was: Why stop there?

“I think Jeff would settle for President of the United States,” said Lawrence O’Donnell, a writer for NBC’s The West Wing, talking about Mr. Zucker’s insatiable ambition. “He might take a rest after that.”

What’s worse than a President going to war in Iraq? One who as a civilian would go to war with Steve Jobs!

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Look into his eyes. See the madness?

Previously in this blog:
Newsflash! Jeff Zucker Buys Condo From Dick Morris!
Jeff Zucker: He Don’t Do Emo
Jff Zukr: Ur No Gneeiz No
Quote Of The Day: Jobs Rulz, Gates Luz
A Post-iTunes Fable For NBC
Should Apple Turn iTunes Into A Platform?


Newsflash! Jeff Zucker Buys Condo From Dick Morris!

September 1, 2007

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Former condo of Dick Morris, Universal Music Group

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My smug 20th-century ass will need a place to park when I fail!

Other analog CEOs may inquire thusly: Shellhouse

Previously in this blog:
Jeff Zucker: He Don’t Do Emo
Jff Zukr: Ur No Gneeiz No
Quote Of The Day: Jobs Rulz, Gates Luz
A Post-iTunes Fable For NBC
Should Apple Turn iTunes Into A Platform?


Jeff Zucker: He Don’t Do Emo

September 1, 2007

But he do do Suit:

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Mothers, don’t let your children become this!

Previously in this blog:
Jff Zukr: Ur No Gneeiz No
Quote Of The Day: Jobs Rulz, Gates Luz
A Post-iTunes Fable For NBC
Should Apple Turn iTunes Into A Platform?


Jff Zukr: Ur No Gneeiz No

September 1, 2007

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Previously in this blog:
Quote Of The Day: Jobs Rulz, Gates Luz
A Post-iTunes Fable For NBC
Should Apple Turn iTunes Into A Platform?


Ohhhhhhhkay

September 1, 2007

Received via MySpace Bulletin:

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Quote Of The Day: Jobs Rulz, Gates Luz

September 1, 2007

NBCU Jeff Zucker v. Steve Jobs

Bill Gates – Of course, his rival had his decade of glory but already he is receding into the background of tech history while Steve Jobs is now well known to a new generation that wasn’t even born before personal computers. Of course, BG will hopefully be remembered for his philanthropy work but already his other legacy is fading.

A brilliant analysis. Go read.


A Post-iTunes Fable For NBC

September 1, 2007

Once Upon A Time…

.

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In a strange faraway dreamland called California, there were a collection of people called Suits.

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And by luck the Suits got to hang out with all the pretty little ladies. Because the Suits had power.

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In their little dreamland, the Suits failed to notice some other people among them.

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These people had what were called m4dD skI77z. Because they couldn’t hang out around pretty ladies. There was no time for that. Besides, they hated Suits.

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The power of the Suits rested entirely on their keeping goodies away from people until they deigned to allow people to see them.

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In fact, at one point the Suits withdrew some goodies from a marketplace that was very, very popular with ordinary people. It dimmed some of the brightness of that marketplace.

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The Suits thought that would give them more power. But it didn’t.

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For the people with m4dD skI77z operated in a different land. A land called cyberspace. And cyberspace was bigger than any single marketplace, no matter how very, very popular it was with people.

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And in cyberspace, people could get anything. Anything and everything.

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The Suits woke up one day to find out cyberspace was blowing up their asses, exploding their little dreamland.

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The Suits found themselves on the outside, with their power slipping away, as they tried to stop their fall.

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The Suits used to have power. And they used that power badly. Very, very badly.

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Suits, meet Chuck. He’s out there. In cyberspace.

Welcome to reality, NBC.

Recognize these pictures?

This is the nightmare you have just created.

Embrace your downfall.

Disclaimer: Publication of these screensnaps is in no way an admission, implicit or explicit, of an illegal act having taken place. In cyberspace, even streamed video can be screensnapped, with no data ever residing in the local computer. Ask your attorneys, Suits.