Of last year’s small attendees, only Supacam and GelaSkins came back. No Pepper. And, shockingly, no Sony! I wanted to fondle the new Sony Reader, dammit.
Even though Palm had four Meeting Rooms, no Foleo. Palm was all Centro.
No Asus Eee in sight or even hinted at. Damn!
The show was shockingly small. My quick overview was done in just an hour!
On with the show…
Gateway was showing off a new machine that
ripped off the Mac design was all-in-one…
…in fact, it’s called One
Gateway also showed off this humongous monitor; that’s three websites and an XboX picture-in-picture running
The cheap-ass Palm display; you had to pay for drinks!
Sorry-assed freebies (also a pen and jellybeans; not shown)
No Treos. No PDAs. No Foleo. Just Centro.
Centro being demonstrated. Palm had the blonde I ordered, but no Foleo!
The crowding will kill you…
PC Magazine made it worthwhile again with a batch of wee devices
The big deal HTC Advantage running WinMob 6. Their HotSpot wasn’t working so I couldn’t try Opera browsing. But still, now having given this thing a feel (that’s far less than a fondle), I was very unimpressed. About a grand for that? No!
Size next to Centro actual-size brochure
the ShitDrive my LifeDrive (left edges aligned)
With iPhone (left edges aligned)
My flash kills the HTC screen while the iPhone smiles
Better picture where I off-centered the flash… iPhone screen is still better
HTC vs OQO (left edges aligned)
Dell brings color to notebooks. Big whoop.
Erector is pimping a WiFi spy robot now…
… I didn’t get details. Go Google.
Aie! My mortal enemies!
Yeah, she looks like a satisfied customer. Must have used the 770!
Just as my brain began to melt out of my ears, I hear over the rush of earwax, “Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike!” I think, “Me? It’s a trap!” “Mike! Mike!” I turn around and my god —
— it’s Liz Kelly and Hannah Fairlight of Girls Don’t Cry at the Save Net Radio booth! Real human beings at the trade show! How did they get in?
Then it was back to the torment for me…
Why? Why? Why?
See above caption
A Pac-Man hat!
What the world was waiting for: Snoopy on cellphones! Kill me now.
I don’t know what it is …
… but I want it. NOW!!
Did anyone buy these?
Spider-Mutt. And Linux should sue for abuse of the penguin.
Look at them, ready to pounce and kill me!
Some parrot robot that does things
No Philip K. Dick electric sheep in sight. Thank God!
Cute enough to make you want to kill yourself. Not cute enough for Japan.
The new slavery: People as videogame consoles
All right! Something freaky!!
An electronic camera that magnifies up to 200x. What’s this guy have?
As I thought: FLEAS!
Non-parasite-infested samples to magnify
OK. This is just wrong.
Toshiba’s new Gigabeat player. More fodder thrown underneath the iPod juggernaut.
This is a very interesting notebook. Very lightweight with a CD/DVD drive!
The specs. Turns out that sub-2-pound one uses Flash, not a hard drive. Always a catch!
Only I would turn a notebook over like a turtle to show you its bottom isn’t flat!
Closed view. Wee LEDs on the edge you can see when closed.
Scale next to LifeDrive
Next to dollar bill (suggested by Toshiba rep!)
Screen in outdoor transflective mode. No, it’s not turned off —
— close up. I was told it’s very bright in direct sunlight. Hmmmm. I was also told you can get this with XP installed instead of Vista. The Toshiba rep wanted that made very, very clear. Wow, Vista must be the biggest disaster in Microsoft history!
Eight flatscreens showing eight players killing each other in Gears of War
This was fun. Toshiba did a Deal Or No Deal game
They picked a number by random draw corresponding to a seat. This woman was the first to play…
She picked a case. The two models were very lovely and lively. Drool. Real women!
The banker tries to get her to swap the case for a backpack!
“Open the case…”
Oh. My. God!
She won top prize: A free Toshiba laptop computer!!!
One of those ceiling-projected interactive displays seen on mall floors
At hp’s booth, I come across their Tablet PC …
— and leave my mark!
The new hp PDA next to the LifeDrive; hp stylus shorter & thinner than LifeDrive’s. Yes, my LifeDrive screen is also showing year view on full brightness! Those of you thinking of swapping a RAM-based Palm PDA for this, forget it. It took five seconds to open a Mobile Word document. I can get that shitty non-performance with my LifeDrive!
I go back to the Palm exhibit…
LifeDrive next to Centro
Real-life size comparison: my shit-ass
Thiefone Tracfone next to the Centro
I need a break from this unrelenting technology. I go see Hannah and Liz and find to my horror…
Hannah has become professorial, tutoring people on Saving Net Radio. Poor Liz is getting high from sniffing soy chips again. She has such a tough addiction!
I see the pair of assassins Palm and Nokia have co-funded to kill my ass. I flee.
But there’s no escape. In the hallway leaving, I see …
American technology vandalized by Finns …
… inside it has an Anti-Internet Tablet installed …
The show ran til 7PM. I fled a little after 5PM (sorry, Hannah and Liz!). It was very disappointing. I didn’t return today due to lack of sleep. If I’m bored tomorrow, I might return to see what’s going on. But I doubt anything will be…
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