Whoa! Apple, I Didn’t Mean Death Star As in Suicidal!

Apple iPhone warning proves true

Some owners are reporting on technology blogs and Apple’s own forums that the update is deleting contacts information, as well as photos and music, on iPhones that have not been modified in any way.

When I coined the term “Death Star Upgrade,” I envisioned the iPhone becoming this huge, formidable vessel in the cellphone universe, toppling all opposition. In a good way (who wants those other crappy cellphones around anyway? Buh-bye Palm and Nokia and Samsung!).

Things seem to have gone awry.

Apple better start channeling The Force.

Photo Album: DigitalLife Expo 2007

Of last year’s small attendees, only Supacam and GelaSkins came back. No Pepper. And, shockingly, no Sony! I wanted to fondle the new Sony Reader, dammit.

Even though Palm had four Meeting Rooms, no Foleo. Palm was all Centro.

No Asus Eee in sight or even hinted at. Damn!

The show was shockingly small. My quick overview was done in just an hour!

On with the show…

Gateway was showing off a new machine that ripped off the Mac design was all-in-one…

…in fact, it’s called One

Gateway also showed off this humongous monitor; that’s three websites and an XboX picture-in-picture running

The cheap-ass Palm display; you had to pay for drinks!

Sorry-assed freebies (also a pen and jellybeans; not shown)

Crowded, huh?

No Treos. No PDAs. No Foleo. Just Centro.

Centro being demonstrated. Palm had the blonde I ordered, but no Foleo!

The crowding will kill you…

PC Magazine made it worthwhile again with a batch of wee devices

The big deal HTC Advantage running WinMob 6. Their HotSpot wasn’t working so I couldn’t try Opera browsing. But still, now having given this thing a feel (that’s far less than a fondle), I was very unimpressed. About a grand for that? No!

Size next to Centro actual-size brochure

Next to the ShitDrive my LifeDrive (left edges aligned)

With iPhone (left edges aligned)

My flash kills the HTC screen while the iPhone smiles

Better picture where I off-centered the flash… iPhone screen is still better

HTC vs OQO (left edges aligned)

Dell brings color to notebooks. Big whoop.

Erector is pimping a WiFi spy robot now…

… I didn’t get details. Go Google.

Aie! My mortal enemies!

Yeah, she looks like a satisfied customer. Must have used the 770!

Just as my brain began to melt out of my ears, I hear over the rush of earwax, “Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike!” I think, “Me? It’s a trap!” “Mike! Mike!” I turn around and my god —

— it’s Liz Kelly and Hannah Fairlight of Girls Don’t Cry at the Save Net Radio booth! Real human beings at the trade show! How did they get in?

Then it was back to the torment for me…

Why? Why? Why?

See above caption

A Pac-Man hat!

What the world was waiting for: Snoopy on cellphones! Kill me now.

I don’t know what it is …

… but I want it. NOW!!

Did anyone buy these?

Spider-Mutt. And Linux should sue for abuse of the penguin.

Look at them, ready to pounce and kill me!

Some parrot robot that does things

No Philip K. Dick electric sheep in sight. Thank God!

Cute enough to make you want to kill yourself. Not cute enough for Japan.

The new slavery: People as videogame consoles

All right! Something freaky!!

An electronic camera that magnifies up to 200x. What’s this guy have?

As I thought: FLEAS!

Non-parasite-infested samples to magnify

OK. This is just wrong.

Toshiba’s new Gigabeat player. More fodder thrown underneath the iPod juggernaut.

This is a very interesting notebook. Very lightweight with a CD/DVD drive!

The specs. Turns out that sub-2-pound one uses Flash, not a hard drive. Always a catch!

Only I would turn a notebook over like a turtle to show you its bottom isn’t flat!

Closed view. Wee LEDs on the edge you can see when closed.

Scale next to LifeDrive

Next to dollar bill (suggested by Toshiba rep!)

Screen in outdoor transflective mode. No, it’s not turned off —

— close up. I was told it’s very bright in direct sunlight. Hmmmm. I was also told you can get this with XP installed instead of Vista. The Toshiba rep wanted that made very, very clear. Wow, Vista must be the biggest disaster in Microsoft history!

Eight flatscreens showing eight players killing each other in Gears of War

This was fun. Toshiba did a Deal Or No Deal game

They picked a number by random draw corresponding to a seat. This woman was the first to play…

She picked a case. The two models were very lovely and lively. Drool. Real women!

The banker tries to get her to swap the case for a backpack!

“Open the case…”

Oh. My. God!

Close-up

She won top prize: A free Toshiba laptop computer!!!

One of those ceiling-projected interactive displays seen on mall floors

At hp’s booth, I come across their Tablet PC …

— and leave my mark!

The new hp PDA next to the LifeDrive; hp stylus shorter & thinner than LifeDrive’s. Yes, my LifeDrive screen is also showing year view on full brightness! Those of you thinking of swapping a RAM-based Palm PDA for this, forget it. It took five seconds to open a Mobile Word document. I can get that shitty non-performance with my LifeDrive!

I go back to the Palm exhibit…

LifeDrive next to Centro

Real-life size comparison: my shit-ass Thiefone Tracfone next to the Centro

I need a break from this unrelenting technology. I go see Hannah and Liz and find to my horror…

Hannah has become professorial, tutoring people on Saving Net Radio. Poor Liz is getting high from sniffing soy chips again. She has such a tough addiction!

I see the pair of assassins Palm and Nokia have co-funded to kill my ass. I flee.

But there’s no escape. In the hallway leaving, I see …

American technology vandalized by Finns …

… inside it has an Anti-Internet Tablet installed …

Thoughtfix probably drooled. (I see the lad is lapping up the Kool-Aid these days… sad.)

The show ran til 7PM. I fled a little after 5PM (sorry, Hannah and Liz!). It was very disappointing. I didn’t return today due to lack of sleep. If I’m bored tomorrow, I might return to see what’s going on. But I doubt anything will be…

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Did you just read this post? Now click here.

Foleo: Hands-On Report

No, not by me. More fruits of the otherwise absolutely incredibly bad (as in awful) Microsoft Live Search:

Sneak Peek at the Palm Foleo

The killer quote:

Would I be willing to buy the Foleo when it comes out?

As a consumer – no. As a regular consumer, I want a fully functional, fully featured device which means more than email, and more than web browsing. Instant on is nice but I can certainly wait the minute it takes for Windows to boot. Now if the device was $200 dollars cheaper, then maybe I’d consider it.

It’s that last sentence — it’s what everyone, and I mean everyone, said:

Now if the device was $200 dollars cheaper, then maybe I’d consider it.

Even those who panned it mercilessly (me me me!) said, well, make it cheaper, and yeah, OK then.

Lost opportunity.

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Did you just read this post? Now click here.

Previously in this blog:
Palm’s Outlook
Can Apple Create A Real Handheld Market?
Memo To Palm: Bring A Foleo
Is The Foleo Completely Dead Now?
Foleo: Dude, I’m Not Getting A Fat-Ass Dell!
Size-Off: Foleo Versus Powerbooks
Will Palm Die Or Show Others How To Be Reborn?
Hey, SanDisk! Buy The Foleo IP From Palm!
Ed Colligan’s Worst Nightmare
Some Foleo on Flickr
New Disease: Post-Foleo Nightmare Syndrome
The Foleo Dispossessed
Quote Of The Day: Popular Mechanics
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part Two
Quote Of The Day: Flashback To iPod Introduction
Blog Notes: Brain Fever
You Still Make Me Want To Bleed To Death
Foleo: The Beat Goes On…
Asus Eee: Increasing RAM Possible
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part One
What Was Your ROS*, Palm?
Blog Notes: Yes, I’m Working On It!
Dumbass Of The Year: Ed Colligan
I’m So Bad, I’m Good
If We Can’t Have Momentum On This, Can I At Least Get An Amen, Brother?
Newsflash! Pictures Of Corpses Left In Wake Of iPhone Price Cut!
Palm Kills Foleo
OK, Now The Foleo Scares Me
Ugh. Backlogged. Still.
Poor Ed Colligan. Ascared Of Me.
Engadget Snags The Attention Of Autistic Palm, Inc.
Oh Look! I Get To Bash Palm And Nokia At The Same Time! It’s Two Two Two Hits In One!
Palm Flogs Blog, Flails, Fails
Failure Has A New Name
Record Blog Traffic: Apple iPhone Vs. Palm Foleo
Earth To Palm: Change The Foleo’s Browser To Safari
What Foleo 2.0 Needs
If FSJ Says It, Then It Is So!
Oh My God! What Did We Buy?!!?
Prediction: Palm To Drop All Handhelds
LifeDrive Notes: Should Palm’s Software Engineers Be Beaten With A Spiked Bat Or Tied Up Together And Dumped In The Ocean From 30,000 Feet?
Palm’s Flopeo, Uh, Foleo: Best Other Name For It
A Picture Of Two Tech Devices That Should Have Never Been Released
My Reaction To Palm’s New Foleo Device
On A Day When Palm Gets Everything Wrong, Apple Gets It Right

Apple To Rewrite Computing Again

Up next for Apple: the return of the Newton

Externally, the mutil-touch PDA has been described by sources as an ultra-thin “slate” akin to the iPhone, about 1.5 times the size and sporting an approximate 720×480 high-resolution display that comprises almost the entire surface of the unit. The device is further believed to leverage multi-touch concepts which have yet to gain widespread adoption in Apple’s existing multi-touch products — the iPhone and iPod touch — like drag-and-drop and copy-and-paste.

More broadly characterized as Apple’s answer to the ultra-mobile PC, the next-gen device is believed to be tracking for a release sometime in the first half of 2008. Assuming the project remains clear of roadblocks, sources believe it could make an inaugural appearance during Jobs’ Macworld keynote in January alongside some new Mac offerings. Still, manufacturing ramp and availability would seem unlikely until closer to mid-year, those same sources say.

Now everything is beginning to make sense to me.

1) Why Apple does not want people to hack the iPod Touch for third-party software — it would undercut sales of this future device with one that does not offer the same profit margin*

2) Why Apple doesn’t care if the iPhone has third-party software on it — there is sufficient profit in the monster volume sales of this device to let it slide (for now)

3) Why Palm believed the Foleo had to be introduced now — it was its only chance to gain a foothold in a market Apple will soon dominate

4) Why Asus chose as its low-ball computing introduction a subnotebook-size device (which has higher manufacturing costs) — they believed Apple was going to do that

5) Why there has not been a scramble to add ebooks to The iTunes Store — this device will offer a true “paperback-quality” reading experience

6) Why a portable Bluetooth keyboard has not been offered by Apple for the iPhone — it will be offered for this machine

7) Why Nokia persists in its efforts with its Anti-Internet Tablets — they fear Apple is going to grab the market (and the entire world!) from them

8) The rumor of internal H.264 decoder chips in future Macs — will this device have that, to further position the Apple brand as one for consumer electronics?

What I think still has to fall into place:

1) Apple announcing joint ventures with social sites such as MySpace (Murdoch just recognized the importance of The iTunes Stores for TV, is this a hint of secret talks?)

2) Hackers revealing secret features in the upcoming Leopard OS release that aren’t yet being used

3) The discontinuation of the Mac mini (could this new device be called the mini II or the Mac nano?)

4) Leaks of Apple making deals with print publishers (not limited to just books)

5) iSync being enhanced

6) This device being announced at MacWorld Expo in January along with the revelation of a customized version of the iWork suite for it

Apple’s Thermonuclear Bomb Of Mobile Applications

One company I wouldn’t want to be is Palm. And one business I wouldn’t want to be in is offering non-phone devices running Windows Mobile.

(*Personally, I think this is a mistake. It would help to create the market for this larger device. It would whet people’s appetite. It would also create an ecology of developers ready to port everything over to the new device.)

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Did you just read this post? Now click here.

Previously in this blog:
Can Apple Create A Real Handheld Market?
eBooks On iPhone: Reading Software
New MacBooks = Optical Drive Bye-Bye
The Asus Eee Effect?
Wow. I’m Really Out Of The iPhone Loop!
Is The Foleo Completely Dead Now?
Foleo: Dude, I’m Not Getting A Fat-Ass Dell!
The iPod Touch: Don’t Touch It?
Size-Off: Foleo Versus Powerbooks
Asus Eee: OS X?!
Will Palm Die Or Show Others How To Be Reborn?
Hey, SanDisk! Buy The Foleo IP From Palm!
Ed Colligan’s Worst Nightmare
New Disease: Post-Foleo Nightmare Syndrome
The Foleo Dispossessed
Quote Of The Day: Popular Mechanics
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part Two
Quote Of The Day: Michael Mace
Quote Of The Day: Flashback To iPod Introduction
You Still Make Me Want To Bleed To Death
Foleo: The Beat Goes On…
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part One
Dumbass Of The Year: Ed Colligan
The DUH! File: BoingBoing Catches Up
S.O.S. Steve Jobs! eBooks Will Save You!
If We Can’t Have Momentum On This, Can I At Least Get An Amen, Brother?
Newsflash! Pictures Of Corpses Left In Wake Of iPhone Price Cut!
Today’s Episode Of The Steve Jobs Show, Plus More
Tomorrow’s iPod: The Beginning Of Bliss?
Palm Kills Foleo
OK, Now The Foleo Scares Me
A Post-iTunes Fable For NBC
Nokia’s Upcoming Fake iPhone
Should Apple Turn iTunes Into A Platform?
iPod Price History: Will Apple Fight Or Lose?
Quote Of The Day: Nokia’s Innate Ineptness
iPod Touch Coming Next Week?
Poor Ed Colligan. Ascared Of Me.
Apple Wins The Internet Video Wars
Oh Look! I Get To Bash Palm And Nokia At The Same Time! It’s Two Two Two Hits In One!
Do New Apple Keyboards Hint At An iPhone Keyboard?
iPhone Death Star Upgrade Coming
Splaying The Code Guts Of The iPhone: TV-Out & Filesystem
Microsoft, Palm, And Nokia: You Better Be Freaking Out!!
I Don’t Think You Understand Just How Incredible The iPhone Really Is!
Some People Catch On Later Than… Everyone Else.
iQuote Of The Post-iDay
I’ve Fondled The iPhone!!
Record Blog Traffic: Apple iPhone Vs. Palm Foleo
Jobs Gets YouTube On iPhone — But Without Flash!
Oh My God! What Did We Buy?!!?
Oh Look At This! My Apple-YouTube Prediction Will Come True!
A Picture Of Two Tech Devices That Should Have Never Been Released
My Reaction To Palm’s New Foleo Device
On A Day When Palm Gets Everything Wrong, Apple Gets It Right
Does Apple Hold The Key To Breaking Open Computing Everywhere?
Prediction: YouTube/Google Drop Flash Video
The iPhone Is A First-Generation Pocket Mac
A Pocket Keyboard Fit For The iPhone?
OS X Widgetry And iPhone Possibilities
Applenomics, Or Why Steve Jobs Will Now Hate Me For Ever And Ever
Bravo Nicholas Carr!

Palm’s Outlook

Palm, Inc. (PALM) – New Product Difficulties

Although the investment by Elevation partners and cash distribution to shareholders is a positive, we don t believe the company can exist in its current form as it is too small to effectively compete in the market for smartphones.

Previously in this blog:
Can Apple Create A Real Handheld Market?
Memo To Palm: Bring A Foleo
Is The Foleo Completely Dead Now?
Foleo: Dude, I’m Not Getting A Fat-Ass Dell!
Size-Off: Foleo Versus Powerbooks
Will Palm Die Or Show Others How To Be Reborn?
Hey, SanDisk! Buy The Foleo IP From Palm!
Ed Colligan’s Worst Nightmare
Some Foleo on Flickr
New Disease: Post-Foleo Nightmare Syndrome
The Foleo Dispossessed
Quote Of The Day: Popular Mechanics
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part Two
Quote Of The Day: Flashback To iPod Introduction
Blog Notes: Brain Fever
You Still Make Me Want To Bleed To Death
Foleo: The Beat Goes On…
Asus Eee: Increasing RAM Possible
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part One
What Was Your ROS*, Palm?
Blog Notes: Yes, I’m Working On It!
Dumbass Of The Year: Ed Colligan
I’m So Bad, I’m Good
If We Can’t Have Momentum On This, Can I At Least Get An Amen, Brother?
Newsflash! Pictures Of Corpses Left In Wake Of iPhone Price Cut!
Palm Kills Foleo
OK, Now The Foleo Scares Me
Ugh. Backlogged. Still.
Poor Ed Colligan. Ascared Of Me.
Engadget Snags The Attention Of Autistic Palm, Inc.
Oh Look! I Get To Bash Palm And Nokia At The Same Time! It’s Two Two Two Hits In One!
Palm Flogs Blog, Flails, Fails
Failure Has A New Name
Record Blog Traffic: Apple iPhone Vs. Palm Foleo
Earth To Palm: Change The Foleo’s Browser To Safari
What Foleo 2.0 Needs
If FSJ Says It, Then It Is So!
Oh My God! What Did We Buy?!!?
Prediction: Palm To Drop All Handhelds
LifeDrive Notes: Should Palm’s Software Engineers Be Beaten With A Spiked Bat Or Tied Up Together And Dumped In The Ocean From 30,000 Feet?
Palm’s Flopeo, Uh, Foleo: Best Other Name For It
A Picture Of Two Tech Devices That Should Have Never Been Released
My Reaction To Palm’s New Foleo Device
On A Day When Palm Gets Everything Wrong, Apple Gets It Right

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Did you just read this post? Now click here.

Can Apple Create A Real Handheld Market?

JK on the Run offers this interesting article:

We need a real handheld computer, who will build one? Apple of course

So who will make the first “real” handheld computer?

Apple. There are very few companies who can design and produce the handheld PC like I’ve indicated in this article, in fact there are only two. Microsoft is one and I believe that if the Redmond giant ever took on this task they would produce a killer handheld PC. Let’s face it, they are operating system experts and they control the office document space with Office so they could integrate this into a handheld in a dynamite way. I’m talking embedded Office to go with the embedded OS on our super handheld. That opens so many exciting possibilities that it makes my pulse race when I think of all of that potential. Unfortunately Microsoft doesn’t make hardware more complicated than a mouse or keyboard and they’re not going to make any type of “WinHand” device. They have too many anti-trust worries whenever they take on something like this and I don’t think they’d do it.

That’s why it has to be Apple. Cupertino now has the hardware design, communications experience, OS kernel expertise to produce an awesome handheld computer.

As I stated in the Comments there, I don’t think Apple is the only company. Palm tried something new with the Foleo, but their imagination just didn’t stretch far enough. There’s the Asus Eee, which is an unknown quantity when it comes to quality of software and just how bulletproof their variant of Linux is. But really, the Asus Eee is just the Same Stuff made smaller and vastly less expensive. It’s not a re-imagining of anything.

What made the Foleo different is that it really did focus on mobility. It was the first device that was built on the question, “What do people do away from their desks?” In other words, the old architectural rule of Form follows function. The first rule was to offer a full-size keyboard. Once that hardware issue was settled, it moved on to the software end of things. It was the limited thinking of software function that then probably dictated the choice of CPU and amount of storage. One limited vision created another limited vision.

Apple has shown the world it has the ability to do mobile devices right. The iPod and the iPhone are true re-imaginings of devices that existed before Apple entered their territory. While every other company accepted the ground rules that had already been established, Apple rejected them and started with a clean sheet of paper.

I don’t think Apple would be so bold to enter the market with a Tablet computer. I don’t think anyone has yet shown there’s a big enough market there. There are lots of improvements that Apple could bring to such a device, but the limiting factor will always be people’s desire for a keyboard (hello, Foleo!). (Even with absolutely error-free handwriting recognition, there are times I’d rather have a keyboard. I’ve written entire articles with past Palm PDAs using nothing but Graffiti. I wouldn’t want to handwrite full articles using my “pen-on-paper” script. My words-per-minute output would be atrocious. When I did that kind of thing back in the pre-computer days, I’d wind up quickly abandoning paper and running for the typewriter keyboard. Some people like handwriting things. I don’t. I save that for editing.)

If Apple wanted to test the marketplace to determine if people would buy a handheld computer, there’s some steps they could take right now:

1) Update the iPhone to work with a Bluetooth keyboard

2) Offer mobile blogging software for the iPhone

3) Offer text editing software for the iPhone

4) Offer photo editing (basic size rescaling & cropping) software for the iPhone

And then see what happens.

It’s a niche within a niche — people who do blogs — but it’d be a cheap test bed too and also display to non-bloggers a few of the possibilities of ultra-portable computing.

The cluetrain would run on this track:

Station 1: I didn’t know you could do that with an iPhone

Station 2: I have to get that for myself

Station 3: I love this!

Station 4: Damn, I wish this iPhone was bigger!

Even those who were scarred in the past by trying to use Palm PDAs and Pocket PCs as mobile productivity tools would take notice.

But I don’t think Apple would do that. Apple — OK, Steve Jobs — doesn’t like to do things halfway. (Even if a half way measure would be absolutely great for some people.)

That’s why I still think Apple will introduce a Flash memory-based Apple subnotebook at MacWorld Expo in January. No, it wouldn’t be a handheld, but it’d be easily totable. And once people get in the habit of carrying a very light, very thin computer with them just about all the time, it opens up other possibilities.

Like a real handheld.

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Did you just read this post? Now click here.

Previously in this blog:
New MacBooks = Optical Drive Bye-Bye
The Asus Eee Effect?
Wow. I’m Really Out Of The iPhone Loop!
Is The Foleo Completely Dead Now?
Size-Off: Foleo Versus Powerbooks
Ed Colligan’s Worst Nightmare
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part Two
Apple Wins The Internet Video Wars
Quote Of The Day: iPhone
Apple And H.264 Internal Chips: I’m With Cringely
Do New Apple Keyboards Hint At An iPhone Keyboard?
iPhone Death Star Upgrade Coming
Splaying The Code Guts Of The iPhone: TV-Out & Filesystem
Microsoft, Palm, And Nokia: You Better Be Freaking Out!!
I Don’t Think You Understand Just How Incredible The iPhone Really Is!
Some People Catch On Later Than… Everyone Else.
iQuote Of The Post-iDay
I’ve Fondled The iPhone!!
Does Apple Hold The Key To Breaking Open Computing Everywhere?
The iPhone Is A First-Generation Pocket Mac
A Pocket Keyboard Fit For The iPhone?
OS X Widgetry And iPhone Possibilities
Applenomics, Or Why Steve Jobs Will Now Hate Me For Ever And Ever
Bravo Nicholas Carr!

Go Get Yer Stephen Fry, Unillustrated

A poster over at Gear Diary has cloned the electrons of Stephen Fry’s now globally-famous cri de coeur about smartphones and other like pocketable devices.

Go read it here.

Thanks to Jim Moat for the email tip.

Yeah, you still can’t get it from Fry:

We’ve enjoyed extensive web traffic over the past few days. As a result, the Forum and Blog will be shutting down from Saturday 6.00AM-12.00PM (British Summer Time) whilst we upgrade the server.

Please return for the latest on Stephen’s blog and events in the Forum.

And for those of you (which probably includes Fry himself) who doubted I’ve read his novels, here’s one of the many bits I scanned and carry around with me in my PDA (currently a wretched Palm LifeDrive):

Jane’s house found itself somewhere near Onslow Gardens. There was money in her purse, no question, courtesy of her Uncle Michael no doubt, and, like every rich, ignorant girl these days, she passed herself off as an interior decorator.

“People saw what I’d done with the flat,” she said, as the taxi drew up outside a standard South Kensington white-pillared portico, “and asked if I could help them out too.”

The interior lived up to my ripest expectations. Hideous flouncing swags for curtains, raw silk instead of wallpaper, you can picture the whole sham shambles for yourself, I’m sure. Barbarically hideous and as loudly wailing a testament to a wholly futile and empty life as can be imagined. Just how fucking idle, just how rotting bored, do you have to be, I wondered, to sit down and dream up this kind of opulent garbage? She was standing in the middle of the room, eyebrows raised, ready for my gargles of admiration. I took a deep breath.

“This is one of the most revolting rooms I’ve ever stood in all my life. It is exactly as hideous as I expected, and exactly as hideous as ten thousand rooms within pissing distance of here. It’s an insult to the eye and fully as degrading a cocktail of overpriced cliché as can be found outside Beverly Hills. I would no more park my arse on that sofa with its artfully clashing and vibrantly assorted cushions than I would eat a dog-turd. Congratulations on wasting an expensive education, a bankload of money and your whole sad life. Goodbye.”

That’s what I would have said with just two more fingers of whisky inside me. Instead, I managed a broken, “My God, Jane . . .”

“You like?”

“Like isn’t the word . . . it’s, it’s . . .”

“They tell me I have an eye,” she conceded. “Homes and Interiors were here last week, photographing.”

“I’m sure they were,” I said.

“You should have seen the place when I moved in!”

“Such a sense of light and space,” I sighed. Always utterly safe.

“Men don’t usually appreciate such things,” she said with approval, moving to the drinks table.

“Fuck you, you mad, sad bitch,” I said inside, while “Even a man couldn’t fail to be knocked out by this skilful, tasteful blend of the ethnic and the domestic,” said my cowardly outspread arms.

— The Hippopotamus by Stephen Fry; pgs. 21-22

Right then. Hurry off and go buy his books. They are hugely funny, witty, and intelligent.

Previously in this blog:
Someone Bop Stephen Fry On His Noggin, Dammit

Memo To Palm: Bring A Foleo

DigitalLife Expo is in New York City next week.

Palm is going to make an announcement then.

Probably some weak little cellphone thing.

The hell with that!

Bring a Foleo I can fondle!

Instruct your booth bunnies than when they see MIKE CANE on the badge they are to have a nubile blonde whisk me off (figuratively speaking) to a private area where I can fondle the bloody hell out of the Foleo.

(Note to blonde: You can be in the room, but you must stand behind me and face the wall. I want no distractions.)

(Note to Palm: It must be a blonde woman. And don’t send Ed Colligan.)

Bring. It. To. Me. Or stay the hell home!

Previously in this blog:
Is The Foleo Completely Dead Now?
Foleo: Dude, I’m Not Getting A Fat-Ass Dell!
Size-Off: Foleo Versus Powerbooks
Will Palm Die Or Show Others How To Be Reborn?
Hey, SanDisk! Buy The Foleo IP From Palm!
Ed Colligan’s Worst Nightmare
Some Foleo on Flickr
New Disease: Post-Foleo Nightmare Syndrome
The Foleo Dispossessed
Quote Of The Day: Popular Mechanics
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part Two
Quote Of The Day: Flashback To iPod Introduction
Blog Notes: Brain Fever
You Still Make Me Want To Bleed To Death
Foleo: The Beat Goes On…
Asus Eee: Increasing RAM Possible
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part One
What Was Your ROS*, Palm?
Blog Notes: Yes, I’m Working On It!
Dumbass Of The Year: Ed Colligan
I’m So Bad, I’m Good
If We Can’t Have Momentum On This, Can I At Least Get An Amen, Brother?
Newsflash! Pictures Of Corpses Left In Wake Of iPhone Price Cut!
Palm Kills Foleo
OK, Now The Foleo Scares Me
Ugh. Backlogged. Still.
Poor Ed Colligan. Ascared Of Me.
Engadget Snags The Attention Of Autistic Palm, Inc.
Oh Look! I Get To Bash Palm And Nokia At The Same Time! It’s Two Two Two Hits In One!
Palm Flogs Blog, Flails, Fails
Failure Has A New Name
Record Blog Traffic: Apple iPhone Vs. Palm Foleo
Earth To Palm: Change The Foleo’s Browser To Safari
What Foleo 2.0 Needs
If FSJ Says It, Then It Is So!
Oh My God! What Did We Buy?!!?
Prediction: Palm To Drop All Handhelds
LifeDrive Notes: Should Palm’s Software Engineers Be Beaten With A Spiked Bat Or Tied Up Together And Dumped In The Ocean From 30,000 Feet?
Palm’s Flopeo, Uh, Foleo: Best Other Name For It
A Picture Of Two Tech Devices That Should Have Never Been Released
My Reaction To Palm’s New Foleo Device
On A Day When Palm Gets Everything Wrong, Apple Gets It Right

Is The Foleo Completely Dead Now?

I’m still planning on writing (all I have are notes in the cloud my head right now) the remaining two parts of my Foleo Disaster series.

But in the meantime, I thought I’d update everyone on an extraordinary phenomenon taking place here.

Seven of the Top Ten Posts here are all about the Asus Eee. (I’d put a nice JPEG of the list here, but WordPress is unwell right now. When WordPress is well again, I’ll strikethrough this and post the JPEG I’ve saved on my hard drive.)

The only other time my Top Posts were virtually monopolized by a subject was Heather Johnston!

(I can post a JPEG for that because it’s already in storage at WordPress. I can’t get it to swallow new JPEGs!)

Asus has both time and economies of scale on its side now. The Foleo was withdrawn, giving them more time to introduce the Eee. And its evident amazing popularity here at this blog just towers over the number of readers who have come here for anything about the Foleo. This means Asus will sell a frikkin ton of them — and that means they can pressure component suppliers to drop their prices. This means we will eventually see price drops along the lines of the iPhone (not that I expect a $200 price drop; but that low-end model could finally go for its original $199 price by early next year).

The Foleo had Treo email sync, which was laughed at. But it had several things I liked: the screen size, the full-size keyboard, and the ability of Palm to gather developers for it (that was unprecedented; the Linux-based Sharp Zaurus didn’t get that; the Nokia Anti-Internet Tablets still don’t have that after being out over a year!).

But now those things just might not matter much. The seven-inch screen is Good Enough. I’ve fondled it on the Samsung UMPCs and it can be used fine. The keyboard might be a problem, but I have a USB keyboard in a pinch. As for developers — well, Asus is bundling so much software with it, that just might not matter at all. They learned from Apple to fill a box with useful software, making the out-of-the-box-experience immediately productive.

Palm would really have to pull one hell of a rabbit out of its hat to compete against the Asus Eee.

Even worse: I really do expect Apple to announce a Flash-based small notebook of some kind in January.

So where oh where does that leave the Palm Foleo?

It might be completely, totally, irredeemably dead.

A collector’s item.

Previously in this blog: (Asus Eee)
Asus Eee: Real Hands-On Report With New Pics
YouTube: New Asus Eee Vids
Asus Eee: Alleged Hands-On Report
Asus Eee To Do Color Covers
Asus Eee Versus Raon Digital Everun
Asus Eee: More About Its Keyboard
Asus Eee: The New Timex-Sinclair?!!?
Asus Eee: OS X?!
Asus Eee: XP Runs!
New Asus Eee Article
Asus Eee: Increasing RAM Possible
Asus Eee: OK. Wait. What’d He Just Say?!!?
Asus Eee And Palm PDAs
Asus Eee = Flybook = RSI
Blog Notes: Yes, I’m Working On It!

Previously in this blog: (Palm Foleo)
Foleo: Dude, I’m Not Getting A Fat-Ass Dell!
Size-Off: Foleo Versus Powerbooks
Will Palm Die Or Show Others How To Be Reborn?
Hey, SanDisk! Buy The Foleo IP From Palm!
Ed Colligan’s Worst Nightmare
Some Foleo on Flickr
New Disease: Post-Foleo Nightmare Syndrome
The Foleo Dispossessed
Quote Of The Day: Popular Mechanics
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part Two
Quote Of The Day: Flashback To iPod Introduction
Blog Notes: Brain Fever
You Still Make Me Want To Bleed To Death
Foleo: The Beat Goes On…
Asus Eee: Increasing RAM Possible
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part One
What Was Your ROS*, Palm?
Blog Notes: Yes, I’m Working On It!
Dumbass Of The Year: Ed Colligan
I’m So Bad, I’m Good
If We Can’t Have Momentum On This, Can I At Least Get An Amen, Brother?
Newsflash! Pictures Of Corpses Left In Wake Of iPhone Price Cut!
Palm Kills Foleo
OK, Now The Foleo Scares Me
Ugh. Backlogged. Still.
Poor Ed Colligan. Ascared Of Me.
Engadget Snags The Attention Of Autistic Palm, Inc.
Oh Look! I Get To Bash Palm And Nokia At The Same Time! It’s Two Two Two Hits In One!
Palm Flogs Blog, Flails, Fails
Failure Has A New Name
Record Blog Traffic: Apple iPhone Vs. Palm Foleo
Earth To Palm: Change The Foleo’s Browser To Safari
What Foleo 2.0 Needs
If FSJ Says It, Then It Is So!
Oh My God! What Did We Buy?!!?
Prediction: Palm To Drop All Handhelds
LifeDrive Notes: Should Palm’s Software Engineers Be Beaten With A Spiked Bat Or Tied Up Together And Dumped In The Ocean From 30,000 Feet?
Palm’s Flopeo, Uh, Foleo: Best Other Name For It
A Picture Of Two Tech Devices That Should Have Never Been Released
My Reaction To Palm’s New Foleo Device
On A Day When Palm Gets Everything Wrong, Apple Gets It Right

Foleo: Dude, I’m Not Getting A Fat-Ass Dell!

This photo is for all those eejits who think an el-cheapo Dell notebook can replace a Foleo:

Like, dude, if you can’t tell, heh-heh, the Foleo is on the right.

The only thing that makes the Foleo look huge is an iPhone:

– photoswipe from the Flickr account of Josh Bancroft, who has a killer iPhone

Previously in this blog:
Size-Off: Foleo Versus Powerbooks
Will Palm Die Or Show Others How To Be Reborn?
Hey, SanDisk! Buy The Foleo IP From Palm!
Ed Colligan’s Worst Nightmare
Some Foleo on Flickr
New Disease: Post-Foleo Nightmare Syndrome
The Foleo Dispossessed
Quote Of The Day: Popular Mechanics
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part Two
Quote Of The Day: Flashback To iPod Introduction
Blog Notes: Brain Fever
You Still Make Me Want To Bleed To Death
Foleo: The Beat Goes On…
Asus Eee: Increasing RAM Possible
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part One
What Was Your ROS*, Palm?
Blog Notes: Yes, I’m Working On It!
Dumbass Of The Year: Ed Colligan
I’m So Bad, I’m Good
If We Can’t Have Momentum On This, Can I At Least Get An Amen, Brother?
Newsflash! Pictures Of Corpses Left In Wake Of iPhone Price Cut!
Palm Kills Foleo
OK, Now The Foleo Scares Me
Ugh. Backlogged. Still.
Poor Ed Colligan. Ascared Of Me.
Engadget Snags The Attention Of Autistic Palm, Inc.
Oh Look! I Get To Bash Palm And Nokia At The Same Time! It’s Two Two Two Hits In One!
Palm Flogs Blog, Flails, Fails
Failure Has A New Name
Record Blog Traffic: Apple iPhone Vs. Palm Foleo
Earth To Palm: Change The Foleo’s Browser To Safari
What Foleo 2.0 Needs
If FSJ Says It, Then It Is So!
Oh My God! What Did We Buy?!!?
Prediction: Palm To Drop All Handhelds
LifeDrive Notes: Should Palm’s Software Engineers Be Beaten With A Spiked Bat Or Tied Up Together And Dumped In The Ocean From 30,000 Feet?
Palm’s Flopeo, Uh, Foleo: Best Other Name For It
A Picture Of Two Tech Devices That Should Have Never Been Released
My Reaction To Palm’s New Foleo Device
On A Day When Palm Gets Everything Wrong, Apple Gets It Right