Whoa! Apple, I Didn’t Mean Death Star As in Suicidal!

September 28, 2007

Apple iPhone warning proves true

Some owners are reporting on technology blogs and Apple’s own forums that the update is deleting contacts information, as well as photos and music, on iPhones that have not been modified in any way.

When I coined the term “Death Star Upgrade,” I envisioned the iPhone becoming this huge, formidable vessel in the cellphone universe, toppling all opposition. In a good way (who wants those other crappy cellphones around anyway? Buh-bye Palm and Nokia and Samsung!).

Things seem to have gone awry.

Apple better start channeling The Force.

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Photo Album: DigitalLife Expo 2007

September 28, 2007

Of last year’s small attendees, only Supacam and GelaSkins came back. No Pepper. And, shockingly, no Sony! I wanted to fondle the new Sony Reader, dammit.

Even though Palm had four Meeting Rooms, no Foleo. Palm was all Centro.

No Asus Eee in sight or even hinted at. Damn!

The show was shockingly small. My quick overview was done in just an hour!

On with the show…

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Gateway was showing off a new machine that ripped off the Mac design was all-in-one…

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…in fact, it’s called One

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Gateway also showed off this humongous monitor; that’s three websites and an XboX picture-in-picture running

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The cheap-ass Palm display; you had to pay for drinks!

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Sorry-assed freebies (also a pen and jellybeans; not shown)

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Crowded, huh?

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No Treos. No PDAs. No Foleo. Just Centro.

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Centro being demonstrated. Palm had the blonde I ordered, but no Foleo!

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The crowding will kill you…

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PC Magazine made it worthwhile again with a batch of wee devices

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The big deal HTC Advantage running WinMob 6. Their HotSpot wasn’t working so I couldn’t try Opera browsing. But still, now having given this thing a feel (that’s far less than a fondle), I was very unimpressed. About a grand for that? No!

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Size next to Centro actual-size brochure

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Next to the ShitDrive my LifeDrive (left edges aligned)

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With iPhone (left edges aligned)

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My flash kills the HTC screen while the iPhone smiles

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Better picture where I off-centered the flash… iPhone screen is still better

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HTC vs OQO (left edges aligned)

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Dell brings color to notebooks. Big whoop.

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Erector is pimping a WiFi spy robot now…

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… I didn’t get details. Go Google.

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Aie! My mortal enemies!

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Yeah, she looks like a satisfied customer. Must have used the 770!

Just as my brain began to melt out of my ears, I hear over the rush of earwax, “Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike!” I think, “Me? It’s a trap!” “Mike! Mike!” I turn around and my god —

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— it’s Liz Kelly and Hannah Fairlight of Girls Don’t Cry at the Save Net Radio booth! Real human beings at the trade show! How did they get in?

Then it was back to the torment for me…

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Why? Why? Why?

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See above caption

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A Pac-Man hat!

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What the world was waiting for: Snoopy on cellphones! Kill me now.

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I don’t know what it is …

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… but I want it. NOW!!


Did anyone buy these?

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Spider-Mutt. And Linux should sue for abuse of the penguin.

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Look at them, ready to pounce and kill me!

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Some parrot robot that does things

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No Philip K. Dick electric sheep in sight. Thank God!

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Cute enough to make you want to kill yourself. Not cute enough for Japan.

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The new slavery: People as videogame consoles

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All right! Something freaky!!

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An electronic camera that magnifies up to 200x. What’s this guy have?

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As I thought: FLEAS!

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Non-parasite-infested samples to magnify

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OK. This is just wrong.

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Toshiba’s new Gigabeat player. More fodder thrown underneath the iPod juggernaut.

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This is a very interesting notebook. Very lightweight with a CD/DVD drive!

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The specs. Turns out that sub-2-pound one uses Flash, not a hard drive. Always a catch!

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Only I would turn a notebook over like a turtle to show you its bottom isn’t flat!

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Closed view. Wee LEDs on the edge you can see when closed.

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Scale next to LifeDrive

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Next to dollar bill (suggested by Toshiba rep!)

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Screen in outdoor transflective mode. No, it’s not turned off —

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— close up. I was told it’s very bright in direct sunlight. Hmmmm. I was also told you can get this with XP installed instead of Vista. The Toshiba rep wanted that made very, very clear. Wow, Vista must be the biggest disaster in Microsoft history!

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Eight flatscreens showing eight players killing each other in Gears of War

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This was fun. Toshiba did a Deal Or No Deal game

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They picked a number by random draw corresponding to a seat. This woman was the first to play…

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She picked a case. The two models were very lovely and lively. Drool. Real women!

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The banker tries to get her to swap the case for a backpack!

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“Open the case…”

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Oh. My. God!

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Close-up

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She won top prize: A free Toshiba laptop computer!!!

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One of those ceiling-projected interactive displays seen on mall floors

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At hp’s booth, I come across their Tablet PC …

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— and leave my mark!

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The new hp PDA next to the LifeDrive; hp stylus shorter & thinner than LifeDrive’s. Yes, my LifeDrive screen is also showing year view on full brightness! Those of you thinking of swapping a RAM-based Palm PDA for this, forget it. It took five seconds to open a Mobile Word document. I can get that shitty non-performance with my LifeDrive!

I go back to the Palm exhibit…

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LifeDrive next to Centro

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Real-life size comparison: my shit-ass Thiefone Tracfone next to the Centro

I need a break from this unrelenting technology. I go see Hannah and Liz and find to my horror…

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Hannah has become professorial, tutoring people on Saving Net Radio. Poor Liz is getting high from sniffing soy chips again. She has such a tough addiction!

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I see the pair of assassins Palm and Nokia have co-funded to kill my ass. I flee.

But there’s no escape. In the hallway leaving, I see …

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American technology vandalized by Finns …

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… inside it has an Anti-Internet Tablet installed …

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Thoughtfix probably drooled. (I see the lad is lapping up the Kool-Aid these days… sad.)

The show ran til 7PM. I fled a little after 5PM (sorry, Hannah and Liz!). It was very disappointing. I didn’t return today due to lack of sleep. If I’m bored tomorrow, I might return to see what’s going on. But I doubt anything will be…

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Google Is The Last Place I Would Look For Movies

September 27, 2007

Legal Watchdog Group Uncovers 300 Apparently Pirated Films Viewed More than 22 Million Times on Google Video

I looked at some of the screensnaps they took (assholes put them in a PDF!). Right off the bat they lie: they have Airwolf listed! Airwolf was a TV series! (And a lousy one at that. Those cultists will kill me now…) There are some other TV series too; mainly Japanese anime episodes.

I see the legendary 7337 aXXo is represented. You’ll never catch him/her/them. And even if you did, I think someone would set up a PayPal account for bail — and it’d be raised.

(Unlike you cheap bastards here who are holding onto your lousy five bucks — skip that artery-clogging Happy Meal or brain-cell-killing Latte!)

And they found 300? That’s probably a fraction. I’d go look for myself but guess what, Hollywood? You haven’t put out shit I’ve been dying to see for years and years!

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Previously in this blog:
Free Movie: Zeitgeist
Reference: Google Video On iPhone
Google Video: Free Documentaries
Google Video: Two Gerry Anderson
Thunderbirds: Origins On Google Video
Gerry Anderson: Origins On Google Video
“Oh My God, There’s No More World Trade Center.”
Reference: Finding Local Movies With Google


Heather: Sue For Slander. I’ll Testify!

September 27, 2007

Critics’ Pick
Best Place to Find Girls Gone Wild: Gwinnett is Great

On the water tower that hovers over I-85 is the declaration: GWINNETT IS GREAT. What’s Gwinnett great at? For one thing, producing otherwise unremarkable young women whose lapses in judgment — combined with their wholesome suburban-ness and vaguely attractive whiteness — accidentally propel them into the national news spotlight. In ’05, it was Jennifer “Runaway Bride” Wilbanks. This year, it’s Ashley Miller and Heather Johnston, aka the Barbie Bandits, who briefly captured the country’s imagination by looking a lot prettier on Bank of America security-camera footage than they do in real life. After they were arrested and news producers figured out they weren’t actually hot, they largely vanished. Before her guilty plea, Johnston worked as a telemarketer. Miller is, of all things, working as a babysitter as she awaits trial.

You bag of shit. Heather is Hot!

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Graphic from the site showing what they think is Best.
Bite my bag, sleazezoid.

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Previously in this blog:
Barbie Bandits category
Heather Johnston category


FLASH: George Bush Attempts School Shooting

September 26, 2007

St. John’s University student found with rifle

(Jamaica – WABC, September 26, 2007) – A student was arrested with a rifle on the campus of St. John’s University in the Jamaica section of Queens Wednesday, according to police.

Authorities say the man, in his early 20s, was caught on campus at around 2:30 p.m.

Police say the man had a rifle in a bag in Marillac Hall, a four-story building with classrooms and a basement cafeteria. He was reportedly apprehended by public safety officers, who quickly disarmed the suspect and have turned him over to the NYPD. Officials say the man was also in possession of a mask, possibly a President Bush mask.

Police say they are searching for a second person, who may be armed. A building-by-building search is underway.

Emphasis added by me.

This is ongoing breaking news in NYC right now.

When I saw the first news bulletin, I immediately wondered if Kenneth Che-Tew Eng was on the loose again.

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I Will Torment You All Until You Relent!

September 26, 2007

No click click give give?

Then you deserve this:

Actually, this one is pretty good:

Now you understand I am serious, no?

Let me see those fundraising totals increase, dammit!


Jaysus

September 26, 2007

3 Charged in PC Magazine Editor’s Death

PITTSBURG, Calif. (AP) – Three men have been charged with murdering a senior editor for PC World magazine in what police said was an attempt to steal marijuana that the victim’s son grew in their home for medical use.

Rex Farrance, 59, the San Francisco-based magazine’s senior technical editor, was shot in the chest on Jan. 9 after masked men broke into his suburban home.

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