Whoa! Apple, I Didn’t Mean Death Star As in Suicidal!

September 28, 2007

Apple iPhone warning proves true

Some owners are reporting on technology blogs and Apple’s own forums that the update is deleting contacts information, as well as photos and music, on iPhones that have not been modified in any way.

When I coined the term “Death Star Upgrade,” I envisioned the iPhone becoming this huge, formidable vessel in the cellphone universe, toppling all opposition. In a good way (who wants those other crappy cellphones around anyway? Buh-bye Palm and Nokia and Samsung!).

Things seem to have gone awry.

Apple better start channeling The Force.

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Photo Album: DigitalLife Expo 2007

September 28, 2007

Of last year’s small attendees, only Supacam and GelaSkins came back. No Pepper. And, shockingly, no Sony! I wanted to fondle the new Sony Reader, dammit.

Even though Palm had four Meeting Rooms, no Foleo. Palm was all Centro.

No Asus Eee in sight or even hinted at. Damn!

The show was shockingly small. My quick overview was done in just an hour!

On with the show…

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Gateway was showing off a new machine that ripped off the Mac design was all-in-one…

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…in fact, it’s called One

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Gateway also showed off this humongous monitor; that’s three websites and an XboX picture-in-picture running

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The cheap-ass Palm display; you had to pay for drinks!

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Sorry-assed freebies (also a pen and jellybeans; not shown)

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Crowded, huh?

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No Treos. No PDAs. No Foleo. Just Centro.

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Centro being demonstrated. Palm had the blonde I ordered, but no Foleo!

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The crowding will kill you…

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PC Magazine made it worthwhile again with a batch of wee devices

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The big deal HTC Advantage running WinMob 6. Their HotSpot wasn’t working so I couldn’t try Opera browsing. But still, now having given this thing a feel (that’s far less than a fondle), I was very unimpressed. About a grand for that? No!

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Size next to Centro actual-size brochure

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Next to the ShitDrive my LifeDrive (left edges aligned)

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With iPhone (left edges aligned)

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My flash kills the HTC screen while the iPhone smiles

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Better picture where I off-centered the flash… iPhone screen is still better

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HTC vs OQO (left edges aligned)

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Dell brings color to notebooks. Big whoop.

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Erector is pimping a WiFi spy robot now…

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… I didn’t get details. Go Google.

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Aie! My mortal enemies!

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Yeah, she looks like a satisfied customer. Must have used the 770!

Just as my brain began to melt out of my ears, I hear over the rush of earwax, “Mike! Mike! Mike! Mike!” I think, “Me? It’s a trap!” “Mike! Mike!” I turn around and my god —

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— it’s Liz Kelly and Hannah Fairlight of Girls Don’t Cry at the Save Net Radio booth! Real human beings at the trade show! How did they get in?

Then it was back to the torment for me…

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Why? Why? Why?

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See above caption

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A Pac-Man hat!

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What the world was waiting for: Snoopy on cellphones! Kill me now.

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I don’t know what it is …

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… but I want it. NOW!!


Did anyone buy these?

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Spider-Mutt. And Linux should sue for abuse of the penguin.

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Look at them, ready to pounce and kill me!

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Some parrot robot that does things

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No Philip K. Dick electric sheep in sight. Thank God!

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Cute enough to make you want to kill yourself. Not cute enough for Japan.

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The new slavery: People as videogame consoles

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All right! Something freaky!!

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An electronic camera that magnifies up to 200x. What’s this guy have?

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As I thought: FLEAS!

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Non-parasite-infested samples to magnify

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OK. This is just wrong.

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Toshiba’s new Gigabeat player. More fodder thrown underneath the iPod juggernaut.

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This is a very interesting notebook. Very lightweight with a CD/DVD drive!

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The specs. Turns out that sub-2-pound one uses Flash, not a hard drive. Always a catch!

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Only I would turn a notebook over like a turtle to show you its bottom isn’t flat!

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Closed view. Wee LEDs on the edge you can see when closed.

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Scale next to LifeDrive

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Next to dollar bill (suggested by Toshiba rep!)

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Screen in outdoor transflective mode. No, it’s not turned off —

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— close up. I was told it’s very bright in direct sunlight. Hmmmm. I was also told you can get this with XP installed instead of Vista. The Toshiba rep wanted that made very, very clear. Wow, Vista must be the biggest disaster in Microsoft history!

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Eight flatscreens showing eight players killing each other in Gears of War

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This was fun. Toshiba did a Deal Or No Deal game

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They picked a number by random draw corresponding to a seat. This woman was the first to play…

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She picked a case. The two models were very lovely and lively. Drool. Real women!

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The banker tries to get her to swap the case for a backpack!

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“Open the case…”

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Oh. My. God!

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Close-up

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She won top prize: A free Toshiba laptop computer!!!

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One of those ceiling-projected interactive displays seen on mall floors

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At hp’s booth, I come across their Tablet PC …

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— and leave my mark!

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The new hp PDA next to the LifeDrive; hp stylus shorter & thinner than LifeDrive’s. Yes, my LifeDrive screen is also showing year view on full brightness! Those of you thinking of swapping a RAM-based Palm PDA for this, forget it. It took five seconds to open a Mobile Word document. I can get that shitty non-performance with my LifeDrive!

I go back to the Palm exhibit…

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LifeDrive next to Centro

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Real-life size comparison: my shit-ass Thiefone Tracfone next to the Centro

I need a break from this unrelenting technology. I go see Hannah and Liz and find to my horror…

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Hannah has become professorial, tutoring people on Saving Net Radio. Poor Liz is getting high from sniffing soy chips again. She has such a tough addiction!

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I see the pair of assassins Palm and Nokia have co-funded to kill my ass. I flee.

But there’s no escape. In the hallway leaving, I see …

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American technology vandalized by Finns …

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… inside it has an Anti-Internet Tablet installed …

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Thoughtfix probably drooled. (I see the lad is lapping up the Kool-Aid these days… sad.)

The show ran til 7PM. I fled a little after 5PM (sorry, Hannah and Liz!). It was very disappointing. I didn’t return today due to lack of sleep. If I’m bored tomorrow, I might return to see what’s going on. But I doubt anything will be…

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Foleo: Hands-On Report

September 27, 2007

No, not by me. More fruits of the otherwise absolutely incredibly bad (as in awful) Microsoft Live Search:

Sneak Peek at the Palm Foleo

The killer quote:

Would I be willing to buy the Foleo when it comes out?

As a consumer – no. As a regular consumer, I want a fully functional, fully featured device which means more than email, and more than web browsing. Instant on is nice but I can certainly wait the minute it takes for Windows to boot. Now if the device was $200 dollars cheaper, then maybe I’d consider it.

It’s that last sentence — it’s what everyone, and I mean everyone, said:

Now if the device was $200 dollars cheaper, then maybe I’d consider it.

Even those who panned it mercilessly (me me me!) said, well, make it cheaper, and yeah, OK then.

Lost opportunity.

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Did you just read this post? Now click here.

Previously in this blog:
Palm’s Outlook
Can Apple Create A Real Handheld Market?
Memo To Palm: Bring A Foleo
Is The Foleo Completely Dead Now?
Foleo: Dude, I’m Not Getting A Fat-Ass Dell!
Size-Off: Foleo Versus Powerbooks
Will Palm Die Or Show Others How To Be Reborn?
Hey, SanDisk! Buy The Foleo IP From Palm!
Ed Colligan’s Worst Nightmare
Some Foleo on Flickr
New Disease: Post-Foleo Nightmare Syndrome
The Foleo Dispossessed
Quote Of The Day: Popular Mechanics
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part Two
Quote Of The Day: Flashback To iPod Introduction
Blog Notes: Brain Fever
You Still Make Me Want To Bleed To Death
Foleo: The Beat Goes On…
Asus Eee: Increasing RAM Possible
The Palm Foleo Disaster: Part One
What Was Your ROS*, Palm?
Blog Notes: Yes, I’m Working On It!
Dumbass Of The Year: Ed Colligan
I’m So Bad, I’m Good
If We Can’t Have Momentum On This, Can I At Least Get An Amen, Brother?
Newsflash! Pictures Of Corpses Left In Wake Of iPhone Price Cut!
Palm Kills Foleo
OK, Now The Foleo Scares Me
Ugh. Backlogged. Still.
Poor Ed Colligan. Ascared Of Me.
Engadget Snags The Attention Of Autistic Palm, Inc.
Oh Look! I Get To Bash Palm And Nokia At The Same Time! It’s Two Two Two Hits In One!
Palm Flogs Blog, Flails, Fails
Failure Has A New Name
Record Blog Traffic: Apple iPhone Vs. Palm Foleo
Earth To Palm: Change The Foleo’s Browser To Safari
What Foleo 2.0 Needs
If FSJ Says It, Then It Is So!
Oh My God! What Did We Buy?!!?
Prediction: Palm To Drop All Handhelds
LifeDrive Notes: Should Palm’s Software Engineers Be Beaten With A Spiked Bat Or Tied Up Together And Dumped In The Ocean From 30,000 Feet?
Palm’s Flopeo, Uh, Foleo: Best Other Name For It
A Picture Of Two Tech Devices That Should Have Never Been Released
My Reaction To Palm’s New Foleo Device
On A Day When Palm Gets Everything Wrong, Apple Gets It Right


Asus Eee: Carrying Pouch

September 27, 2007

A protective, colorful carrying case for the ASUS Eee-701 notebook PC from ASUSTek

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Microsoft’s new Live search comes up with something I hadn’t seen before. Other than that, that search engine still sucks. It’s like… Vista!

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Did you just read this post? Now click here.

Previously in this blog:
Asus Eee: Part One Of Review In Spanish
Asus Eee: Four Models
Can Apple Create A Real Handheld Market?
New MacBooks = Optical Drive Bye-Bye
Asus Eee Gets Dissected By Mad Russians
The Asus Eee Effect?
Asus Eee: My Head Is Now Spinning!
Asus Eee: Even On Mars?!!?
Asus Eee: WTF?
Is The Foleo Completely Dead Now?
Asus Eee: Real Hands-On Report With New Pics
YouTube: New Asus Eee Vids
Asus Eee: Alleged Hands-On Report
Asus Eee To Do Color Covers
Asus Eee Versus Raon Digital Everun
Asus Eee: More About Its Keyboard
Asus Eee: The New Timex-Sinclair?!!?
Asus Eee: OS X?!
Asus Eee: XP Runs!
New Asus Eee Article
Asus Eee: Increasing RAM Possible
Asus Eee: OK. Wait. What’d He Just Say?!!?
Asus Eee And Palm PDAs
Asus Eee = Flybook = RSI
Blog Notes: Yes, I’m Working On It!


Google Is The Last Place I Would Look For Movies

September 27, 2007

Legal Watchdog Group Uncovers 300 Apparently Pirated Films Viewed More than 22 Million Times on Google Video

I looked at some of the screensnaps they took (assholes put them in a PDF!). Right off the bat they lie: they have Airwolf listed! Airwolf was a TV series! (And a lousy one at that. Those cultists will kill me now…) There are some other TV series too; mainly Japanese anime episodes.

I see the legendary 7337 aXXo is represented. You’ll never catch him/her/them. And even if you did, I think someone would set up a PayPal account for bail — and it’d be raised.

(Unlike you cheap bastards here who are holding onto your lousy five bucks — skip that artery-clogging Happy Meal or brain-cell-killing Latte!)

And they found 300? That’s probably a fraction. I’d go look for myself but guess what, Hollywood? You haven’t put out shit I’ve been dying to see for years and years!

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Did you just read this post? Now click here.

Previously in this blog:
Free Movie: Zeitgeist
Reference: Google Video On iPhone
Google Video: Free Documentaries
Google Video: Two Gerry Anderson
Thunderbirds: Origins On Google Video
Gerry Anderson: Origins On Google Video
“Oh My God, There’s No More World Trade Center.”
Reference: Finding Local Movies With Google


My Language Influence Spreads

September 27, 2007

Soon you tech weenies won’t be safe no matter what site you visit.

You can’t escape Fuck!

This is from Russell Beattie’s Weblog!

Five Reasons Why Web 2.0 People Need to Shut The Fuck Up about the Mobile Web

Actually, I’m not going to give five new reasons, I just wanted a catchy title when I responded to this moron who has absolutely no fucking idea what he’s talking about.

Then he does give five reasons!

The rest of you better start PayPal-ing right now.

Or you’re all fucked come Monday.

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Asus Eee: Part One Of Review In Spanish

September 26, 2007

Preview Asus Eee 701. Primera Parte.

There’s also a YouTube video.

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Did you just read this post? Now click here.

Previously in this blog:
Asus Eee: Four Models
Can Apple Create A Real Handheld Market?
New MacBooks = Optical Drive Bye-Bye
Asus Eee Gets Dissected By Mad Russians
The Asus Eee Effect?
Asus Eee: My Head Is Now Spinning!
Asus Eee: Even On Mars?!!?
Asus Eee: WTF?
Is The Foleo Completely Dead Now?
Asus Eee: Real Hands-On Report With New Pics
YouTube: New Asus Eee Vids
Asus Eee: Alleged Hands-On Report
Asus Eee To Do Color Covers
Asus Eee Versus Raon Digital Everun
Asus Eee: More About Its Keyboard
Asus Eee: The New Timex-Sinclair?!!?
Asus Eee: OS X?!
Asus Eee: XP Runs!
New Asus Eee Article
Asus Eee: Increasing RAM Possible
Asus Eee: OK. Wait. What’d He Just Say?!!?
Asus Eee And Palm PDAs
Asus Eee = Flybook = RSI
Blog Notes: Yes, I’m Working On It!